So, I didn't have intercourse, I didnt' have oral sex.... so what is left.....
But, before I get to that.....
If confession really is good for the soul, is it also good for the relationship? I've said here, and on other blogs, that I believe that confessing to my indiscretions was a horrible miscalculation in my marriage, a huge mistake. They were over 5 years ago, were relatively minor on the sexual scale, and all of the women involved are gone from my life. And by gone, I mean gone, 2 moved out of state, one I can't find, and one is still in my home town but in a relationship that precludes her from doing anything either in pursuit of me, or in retribution. Plus, I haven't talked to the two most important women since we were last together, 12 years for one, 5 years for the other. They are over, done, and except for a few of WONDERFUL on-line friendships, I've been a very good boy.
I no longer believe that confession to a spouse is a good idea if the relationships are over. By over, I mean done for a long time. If there are current relationships outside the marriage that need to be dealt with, maybe that becomes part of the discussion. For me, my continued attraction to porn is an issue because it is a current problem between us, a catalyst to issues now. The fact that I fell in love with another woman 12 year ago isn't an issue today. I learned my lesson, looked in to that abyss, and moved on. (How's that for justification, eh?)
I also imagine that if there is a possibility of kids from another relationship, or of a disease, or if I was going to run for political office, that might be a bigger deal. I still think of that, as an ex-political junkie, I wonder about running for office and having something come out about my relationships. I can imagine the press conference now....
Press - Have you ever had sex outside your marriage.
Me - No, I did not have sex with that woman.
Press - OK Bill, now give us a straight answer.
Me - I have never had sexual intercourse, or oral sex with anyone but my wife since I got married.
Press - Then what is she so pissed about?
Me - Well, I fell in love with D and A while still married.
Press - What happened?
Me - Well, with D, I gave her the finger on a number of occasions and made her cum until she cried.
Press - Can you tell us more?
Me - I can tell you that she liked it when I fingered her at work, and that I was over at her house and she wore these cute little shorts, and, well, two holes, 5 fingers, you can do the math.
Press - (now sweating and giggling) - What happened with A?
Me - wistfully - I fell in love with A in a big way. Long tender back-rubs in her office, hours of talking, a visit or two to her house, but never an orgasm between us. It was just love, and that was the closest I got to leaving my wife.
Press - So all of this is over poking your finger in some girls' butt and falling in love with a hot chick from work?
Me - Yea, plus, I used to jerk off for a friend of mine. She never let me touch her, really, but she liked watching me especially while we were driving. Once I swam naked in her pool and occasionally she'd masturbate for me while I was on the phone. I've blogged about it, so I'm not going to repeat it here.
Press - What else happened?
Me - Well, I dry humped T's back while I was helping her move a TV, and she offered me a blow job, but I had already shot my wad and wasn't in the mood anymore. Oh yea, and she got naked for me, but nothing happened.
Press - This seems like a whole lot of pain over nothing.
Me - That's what I think, but try telling that to my wife. She's pissed that I look at boobies on the computer, imagine the images she'd have in her head if I told her that I had a hottie on our marriage bed with my finger up her cunt as she moaned and gasped and drenched my hand with her lady juice.
Press - (now groping each other) - Can you tell us more, we are almost finished.....
Me - The only other thing is that for 2 years I wanted to kill myself or leave the marriage so I was in strip clubs on a number of occasions, maybe 10 times total, but man-oh-man were the orgasms good.
(Someone in the back of the press room cries out and cums, setting off a chain reaction of moans and whimpers)
Press - Does anyone have a cigarette?
River
8 hours ago
