Tuesday, December 5, 2006

I hate business travel



It's 2:00 AM, I can't sleep, and I'm on the road again.

I hate the monotony of it. Staying in the same hotels (company policy), eating at the same "safe" restaurants, talking to the same people, hearing the same jokes, the same stories, and blah, blah, blah.

It's not even the airport security crap anymore. I show up an hour early, I have one carry on and one laptop bag. I carry 1 book to read, one or two journals to write in, some colored pencils for drawing, and my laptop. In my toiletry bag I have one disposable razor, one toothbrush, and one travel-size toothpaste tube. I expect the hotel to have everything else, and they always do. A distinct advantage of being a guy, I need soap (1 kind) and tooth paste (1 kind) and a comb. Hair Dryer optional.

I can pack for any trip less than 4 nights in under 20 minutes. I bring an extra set of everything except shoes, and I've never needed anything else. I once ran out of condoms, but that was an exceptionally unique trip, and a confession for another day.

I have my ticket and ID ready when they tell me to, I don't break the rules, I don't ask stupid or "funny" questions, and no one bothers me. I even bought special shoes (slip ons) that are insanely comfortable and come on and off (like my pants) without any trouble.

Once I am at my gate, I pull out my book and read, or pull out my journal to write or draw, and I mind my own freakin' business. I see what I'm writing and I'm sounding a lot like William Hurt in "The Accidental Tourist" a good movie except that Kathleen Turner is in it. Air travel is exactly like bus travel if you do it right. The only advantage is that you get fewer smelly homeless people sitting next to you, and there is only one stop, maybe two if you have a layover, but I will make almost any schedule adjustment to fly direct. Layovers suck.

In terms of drawing, today I read for a bit and then drew a very nice gorilla, thank you very much for asking.

So I got to the airport, got to my rental car (thank heavens for Auto Check-in (thank you AVIS), got to my hotel without getting lost, and did e-mail for two hours before dinner. (Mongolian Stir-Fry, it was pretty good, not great.) I got home and should have gone right to bed, but I'm addicted to e-mail and porn, and they conspired to keep me up for 4 hours that I should have been sleeping. So now I'm must to be up again in 5 hours and I have to pay attention to my boss for 8 hours of meetings. That aint going to happen.

Also,
Has anyone else noticed what I've been noticing lately, that porn is really boring unless it's real people? Overstuffed starlets with perfectly airbrushed bodies is just boring. The only clips that were at all arousing were the home movies and "amateur" sites that at least tried to have regular looking people.

Maybe it's time for me to take a porn vacation.

What do others think? Do you get bored with porn?

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