I love my friends in the blogosphere. I am not going to list them right here, you can look at my blog roll to get an idea of who I read and hang out with here in the ether. The last couple of days, however, I have been especially thankful for a couple of women who cheer me up, turned me on, and just listen when I need to go on and on.
I'm not going to use their names today because I have not asked for their permission, but I hope that they will recognize themselves and know how much I appreciate them.
Many people talk about the Internet making the world smaller. For me this is been especially true in the last couple of weeks. As my hit count has inexplicably increased, I have met, exchanged e-mails with, and chatted with people all over the world. But, I am constantly surprised at the direct connections you can make as individuals through the Internet.
One friend has allowed me to read and make comments on a book she is writing. I mentioned this in my previous post but now that I have sent her some feedback and she has responded it has taken on a bit of reality. I don't know, in the long run, how useful my comments and review will be, but the potential for working with somebody across the country, someone whose names are not even known, is both fun and fascinating.
Anyone who has ever tried to write a book will know that it is difficult to keep your own personality from showing through your characters. As I get to know of the players in the book, I believe I'm getting to know their author, and that is an honor.
Another friend of mine has allowed me to see into her life, and has shared many personal details of her relationships. The stark honesty of many of the blogs that I read is, at the same time, both refreshing and heartbreaking. I have read tales of the desertion, abuse (both mental and physical), betrayal, accommodation, negotiation, and a few of reconciliation. This new friend of mine is in a situation, like many people, where she is unfulfilled at home and has looked outward for a relationship. We have discussed that relationship (and no, it is not with me) and her experiences have made me look at my marriage in a different way. Also, she, like me, has fitness and weight loss goals, and we have shared many, many minutes typing back and forth about our workout routines, latest run times, and the other minutiae that goes into losing weight. I will bet, based on her HNT pictures, that she has much happier with her workouts than I am of mine.
Another friend has just let me into her life on a daily basis. Almost like twitter, we send e-mails back and forth about the work day, our latest outfits, fantasies, desires, and job complaints. She recently sent me a beautiful picture of herself proving that she is both witty in print and beautiful on film. And, she finds time to write poetry which I adore.
Today was also very special in that a friend that I don't see very often popped up onto my screen and we had time to chat. This confluence of factors, two people with time at the same time is rare based on time zone problems and job duties. We were able to talk, joke, laugh a bit, and toward the end, share a few sexy and intimate whisperings back and forth through the net.
In fact, all three of these very special friends have shared their thoughts and feelings about sex with me, and it has been both arousing and educational. I have always loved talking to women about sex. Starting back in high school, I started quizzing my friends who slept around, fascinated with their brave or foolhardy attempts to buck the local norms. Growing up in a very small town with very powerful churches, these wild women of my youth intrigued me.
Not only was the 14-year-old in me fascinated with the female body, the idea of sex itself, and the feel of the woman's hand on mine (purely speculative at this point) but I wondered at how they would let a man do that to them. Though I was well acquainted with the arts of self pleasure, the idea that a woman would allow a man to stick his penis inside her was incredible. And yes, they were women in my eyes girls because I suspect, I fancied myself a man, even at 16.
I know this sounds like I was a completely naive little kid, and maybe I was. But it was just such a fascinating idea. Even then I wanted to know that dynamics of how the actual event happened.
What did he say to get her to do it?
What did she do to encourage it?
Who took off their clothes first?
Did you take off all your clothes?
Do you actually have sex like they showed in the movies did you just lay on top of each other on the couch and bump around a bit?
What did you do when you're finished?
I knew what it felt like to cum and knew what a mess it could be, so what were the logistics like?
This fascination still holds me in its thrall today. With all my talking smack on my blog, I have been married for 17 years and have only had intercourse or oral sex with one woman. While I have strayed from my primary relationship the only "real" physical sex was giving my mistress the finger for six months. Orgasms were given, received, encouraged, recorded, journaled about, whispered about, and e-mailed, but in the end, my wife is the only one to have felt my cock inside her.
So part of me is still this 14-year-old boy, fascinated with sex, how people get it, how people lose it, and why on earth we would ever, ever, stop doing it. Some of my friends have been married and without sex for years before they started looking outside. I only lasted three.
So I am sure, when I talk to these friends, these fascinating women that my inquisitiveness comes through. How did you meet? When did you meet, how do you get together? Does he get to spend the night with you? Do you get to spend the night with him? What do you do about clothing that smells like each other? What do you do when you get home late, miss soccer games, or show up with disheveled hair when you should have just been at home paying bills?
The logistics, the mechanics, all intrigued me. Most of my extramarital activity has been around work. I'm expected to be there between 8 to 9 hours a day in what happened during lunch, or on the way to the mall, or at her house after work when we both left early and I still make the seven o'clock bus, well, that's easier to hide. I had no kids back then, she only had one and he was in school in the evenings for karate or some such nonsense. Her husband was away on business a lot and my wife worked late almost every day for months. It was easy, nerve-racking, but fairly easy.
I am equal opportunity inquisitor. I asked my single friends on the net the same questions, interested in hearing the latest from the dating front in the singles world that I left behind many years ago. The dynamics of meeting someone
Deciding whether you should sleep with him on the first or fifth date, or in the taxi on the way home from the nightclub, makes for interesting calculations and fascinating reading.
Relationships are always so different, each one unique in the personalities, the mix, the level of intoxication. With each one being so different, how do we handle them at all the same?
I guess I just wanted to say thank you to my friends for being honest, open, sexual, and friendly with me. They certainly make my life a lot more interesting these days. And, thanks again to all who drop by and read this silly little blog. It's hard to believe, and it surprised even me, that I have been writing this for over three years with over 320 entries. I had no idea until I checked today.
So thank you. Thank you to the women of the Internet, and to the women of my little corner of town