Nude Scarlett Johansson!!!!!!!!! (not really)

My friend and I were wondering what it took to generate more hits on a blogger site. I was contending that the text itself generated hits while he thought that key words and labels were more important. So, we decided to put in one post to see if it made a difference. The text below is mostly nonsense, but we did agree that we had to write something besides "Nude Heidi Montag" a hundred times. I could have written Nude Scarlett Johansson, or Nude Jessica Alba, but I didn't, I wrote a little nonsense story.

So, please feel free to stop reading right now, it's really not worth your time to continue, in fact, I'm ordering you to stop. Please.


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Once upon a time, there was a president named Barack Hussein Obama, who is
interested in promoting health care reform among the blue dog Democrats, liberal Republicans, and the left wing conspiracy. His wife Michelle Obama, who advocated for curing cancer, reducing teen pregnancy, and giving tips on, “How to grow a garden”, was always at his side.

One day they decided to throw a party, they invited all of their favorite celebrities who like to be naked, in fact, the theme was Beautiful Naked Celebrities, an idea that even James Carville and Karl Rove agreed upon.

“Heck,” Carville said, “who doesn’t like Beautiful Naked Celebrities”?

“I sure do,” said Rove, “as long as they vote Republican and learn to be a maverick like Sara Palin.”

“No fight there,” said James, “but blue state liberal girls are more likely to ask for anal sex.”

Rove laughed right out loud, almost waking up a drunk President Bush, “Anal sex, Oral Sex, Anal, Oral, Anal, Oral,” it all sounds goods to me.

Pres. Obama said, “That’s enough talk about beautiful women having anal and oral sex. I just like the idea of having beautiful naked celebrities all over the White House lawn. It makes me feel like I am at the Playboy mansion, with Playboy bunnies, almost like I am Hugh Hefner. We will have to invite some of my favorite stars, such as Pamela Anderson, Kiera Knightly, Heidi Klume, Katy Perry, Jessica Biel, Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Gisele Bundchen, Miley Cyrus, Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie, Ashley Tisdale, Reese Witherspoon, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, and Reggie Bush.”

“Don’t forget the hot guys,” Michelle Obama said, “Tom Brady, Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson, if he’s come back from the dead yet, Vin Diesel, Lance Armstrong, Ashton Kutcher, and of course, Al Gore.”

We will get all sorts of musicians to play, like Linkin Park, Snoop Dog, Third Eye Blind, and even Madonna. We can put the Republican National Committee in charge of “Rock Band - The Beatles” so they feel important too.

Then Laura Bush chimed in, “We can’t forget our more conservative friends. We’ll have a room set up for YouTube videos. We will show cats playing with string, cats playing with light, cat’s playing with babies.” She squealed and continued, “We’ll have cute baby videos, NBA, NFL, and NHL highlight clips, just like they have on Sports Center on ESPN and ESPN.com.”

At the sound of Laura’s voice, an inebriated George lifted his head, “YouTube? Fuck YouTube,” he sounded angry, “I searched YouTube for 8 years and clicked on a million ‘Hot Naked Lesbian’ videos and never saw a nipple.”

His head hit the table as he passed out. Laura spoke up, “Personally, I like Redtube.com.”

With George Bush passed out on the White House table, Michelle Obama slid in behind Laura and slowly lifted her skirt. “Maybe,” she whispered, “we can be the first beautiful naked celebrities….”

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See, I told you to stop, but you didn't, and now dont you feel silly for wasting so much time from your valuable life?