We never think it's going to happen to us, no, no, no. I'm just too freaking smart for that. She'll never know I still love porn, Noooooooo.
But then we get stupid. Stupid on the simplest things, like cute and paste and being in a hurry.
Last night I was doing a little late night browsing and e-mail. I found a story about an actor getting arrested on drug charges that used to be on "ER", one of our favorite shows. So, I copied the link and sent it to my wife and my sister.
But, I sent the wrong freakin' link!!!
I was putting together an e-mail for a friend and was copying links to some of my favorite pictures. I finished her e-mail, closed GMAIL, relogged in as my "real" name, and sent a note to my wife. I thought I send this link, but actually sent this one.
This morning started like any other day, a quick shower and off to work. At lunch time I call my wife to check on the world back home and after getting an update on my sick kids (2 of 3) she asks me if I had checked my messages. I said that I didn't have any. She clarified and asked if I had checked my personal e-mail.
"No" I said........
She then asked me why I had sent her, and my sister, a picture of a naked woman?
What on earth was she talking about? My head was spinning. I was already nauseous from fighting a killer headache all morning and this about made me loose it. I told her that I sent her a link to a news story. My headache immediately cranked up from painful to brain-killing. "Then why did I get a naked lady?"
Now my head is really spinning. I was hitting a few sites last night, sites she absolutely hates, and I had to think, was it a video? Holy Crap that would be bad. Linking my wife to some teenage slut getting it in the ass.
I stuck with my story for a few more seconds, "No, I meant to send you a link to the KTLA web page."
"Well you didn't, you obviously had copied the link to save it or something and you put it in my e-mail." I was busted.
So I apologized, for about 10 minutes, and then apologized some more. She hates porn, really does, and combined with the fact that I was trying really hard to avoid it for a while, she sees this as a major down fall. Busted. Caught. CRAP.
She made me promise to write her an e-mail explaining why it happened and said that we were going to "talk about it" when I got home. Oooh boy, I'm sure we are going to talk about it for a looooooong time, and not just once. Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap
Luckily it was a beautiful picture of a beautiful woman, soft lighting, topless only, no spread legs, no toy jammed up her cunny, no cum dripping from her tongue. Damn. It could have been a lot worse.
This would make for a really funny sitcom episode, especially since I also sent it to my sister. You have to admit that it would be funny if it happened on "Two and a half men" or "The Big Bang Theory." I'm sure that hi jinks would ensue. but my life aint no sitcom.
Did I kill someone? No.
Did I cheat on her? No
Did I watch hours of porn on the web while on a business trip? Yes, but she doesn't know that.
Did I screw myself over? OHHHH YESS.''
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn that cut and paste.