Friday, February 27, 2009

Lights out at the Office - Conclusion

This the wonderful conclusion of my friend's Five part series. Please comment if you enjoy the story. It's her first effort at a longer erotica piece and she would love some constructive feedback! Here is Part One and Part Two and Part Three and Part Four
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Conclusion

The lights came back on and both woke up with a start. The sight and feel of her body on his was all his dick needed to come to back to life. .She felt him perk up and smiled. She slid off him to stretch her aching body. He did the same. They both groaned as they stretched the stiffness from their bodies.

He couldn't help but look at her now that the lights were on. Her yoga workouts were clearly the reason for her well-toned body. Her hair was a mess but sexy. She saw him watching and noticed his erection. There was no way for him to hide it so he stood there and let her look. She smiled and slowly walked over to him.

She was the epitome of sex. She placed her hands on his shoulders bringing her body close, she brushed up against his chest. The combination of her soft breasts and hard nipples on his skin was electrifying. She kissed him, pressing her body to his. She felt his erection growing harder. She bent her leg and slid it up his leg, then wrapped it around his thigh. His hands reached down and grabbed her ass, then lifted her. She wrapped her legs around him. He was lost in her eyes, she laughed softly and said "This feels familiar". He felt a strong need to consume her, to fuck her and mark her. She brought out something animalistic in him. He kissed her firmly on the lips, then dragged his lips down her neck until he reached the curve of her neck that meets her shoulder. He kissed and licked her neck and shoulder as she purred. Then he bit her and sucked the bite mark hard leaving a purple mark on her shoulder.

Her fingers dug into his shoulder, his roughness instantly arousing her, creating a sudden need in her pussy.

He brought his lips to her ear and whispered "This time I'm going to fuck your pussy hard."

He carried her a few steps and when he reached his desk he released his grip, letting her slide down his body. He kissed her then turned her so her backside was pressed up against him. His hands slid up her arms and he brushed her hair to one side, exposing her neck. He kissed her neck as his fingered traveled down her throat, tracing a line between her breasts, then circling to the outside edge giving her goose bumps and making her nipples even harder. His hands cupped her breasts and he squeezed and massaged them firmly as his fingers pinched her nipples.

Her hands reached around and gripped his thighs, pulling her body into his. He was able to gaze down at her body as his hand continued to tease her nipple, letting the other wander down, following the curve of her waist. He gripped the strong muscles of her ass then slid his hand up and over her belly, finding a center line and following it lower, past the curve of her waist, and lower to the soft, well-trimmed and delicate hair of her pussy.

His finger slide over her clit, passed her covering lips and dipped into her wet cunt. She let out a soft moan, and whispered "I need to feel you inside of me." He bent her over his desk, his hands guiding her forward, placing her hands wide for support. With a small nudge, she obeyed and her legs opened wide for him. His hands rubbed over her ass, feeling her strength, soaking in the curves, and spreading her cheeks to the bright light of is office. She whimpered with anticipation and gasped as he took his hard cock and slid it over the entrance to her pussy. She quivered at the touch.

Using the engorged head of his cock to play with her, he teased her lips and clit. He slid the head of his cock inside her, then pulled out, using his cock to circle her lips before dipping inside her again.

He teased her pussy with a few quick shallow strokes. Then in one hard, fast stroke he completely filled her. Her body jerked from the sudden penetration and he had to fight to urge to move and kept his cock buried deep inside her for a moment so as not to explode, delaying the release he so desperately wanted.

He reached his hands around to the front of her body. One hand moved to her breast, his thumb and finger playing with her nipple then gently pinching it while his other hand moved lower to rub her clit.

He stayed deep inside her, slowly pumping her while he stroked her body. Her orgasm hit quick, her body shook as she cried out in pleasure. He felt her pussy spasm, clenching around his cock. His hands wrapped tightly around her slender hips, forcing her to stay still, forcing her orgasm to center itself inside. He pinned her hips to the desk, controlling her and felt her body twitch and jump as he rode through her orgasm. He moved deliberately, savoring the feel of her hot wet pussy wrapped around his cock, prolonging his own climax as long as possible.

He felt her body relax but at the same time she lifted her hips and pressed her ass into his , she wanted to move, to fuck, to feel him move inside her..

His hands touched her soft skin, following the curvy line of her side, brushing up against the side of her breast still pressed against the cold leather of his desk blotter. He pulled his length out of her, leaving only the head inside teasing her again with shallow thrusts.

"Are you ready for more", he asked. "Yes", she whispered.

"I need to feel you deep inside me. I need you hard and fast inside of me", she said softly.

She barely finished her words when he slammed all of his length into her. She cried out in pleasure and pain. Her pussy was tight and wet from her first climax and he could feel her tighten around him as he slowly pulled his length out. He rewarded her by slamming himself back in.

He increased the speed of his strokes, pumping her hard and fast.

He was so deep it hurt, but it was a pain so pleasurable that it was all she needed to bring on her second orgasm.

Her pussy clenched tight around him. She pressed up with her arms and tossed her head back and arched her spine as every muscle in her body joined in the climax. . Watching his cock slide in and out of her, wet with her juices, then seeing and feeling her body in the throws of an orgasm was more than he could handle. His own orgasm slammed into him, his body went stiff as the feeling consumed him. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he continued to ravage her, riding out his orgasm, feeling himself spill in to her, feeling them cum together.

His body relaxed and he slid his softening cock out of her. She sighed, pressing her body against his, protesting the exit. His arms wrapped around her as she stood. Locked in his embrace she wiggled around to face him. She whispered, "That was wonderful." She kissed him, her lips parted, their tongues entwined in a slow, deep kiss filled with desire even though they were both satiated.

She broke away from their kiss, checked her watch, and said she needed to leave. A big report still had to be written and she had an early flight to catch. He kissed her cheek and told her he would help clean her up a bit before she dressed. He grabbed some tissue from his desk and bent down in front of her, wiping their juices from her leg then he softly dragged the tissue across her wet and dripping pussy. A small sigh of pleasure escaped her lips and she told him if he stayed down their any longer she would never get out of here. He looked up at her and smiled, his hands reached around behind to caress and hold her ass while he kissed her belly. He stood up, took her face in his hands and gave her one last kiss.

She found her clothes. He watched as she first slipped on her shirt, leaving it unbuttoned for him while she slid into her jeans. She watched him watching her as she buttoned a few buttons. "Are you forgetting something?" he said, pointing to her bra and panties. "You can keep those as a reminder", she said as she left his office.

He sat back in his chair, completely relaxed, smiling as images flooded his mind. It suddenly dawned on him that he never learned her name. He would find it out somehow.

He was still smiling the following morning. Last night, he left his office in shambles and today it only served as a reminder of what happened. He straightened his desk and made sure to hide the little gift she left behind.

His boss entered his office, carried on about the audit, and waved a report in his hand. He wasn't paying much attention with the exception of a polite nod. He decided to ask him about her. He tried to be casual and asked about the new girl in the office down the hall. His boss gave him an odd glance and then brightened with understanding. “She’s not a new girl,” he said, “She’s our consultant. We just hired her to perform the company's quarterly performance audit.” He then congratulated him, saying that she gave him a glowing review. He dropped the report on his desk and exited his office.

Sitting back in his chair, he opened the report and pulled out her business card which was paper-clipped to the cover. He opened his desk drawer and tossed her card on top of the black bra and panties. He couldn't resist a smile as a single word ran through his mind…….'quarterly'.

His smile grew wider as he closed his eyes, lost in thought.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Lights out at the Office - Part 4

This is part Four in a Five part series written by a friend of mine. Please comment if you enjoy the story. It's her first effort at a longer erotica piece and she would love some constructive feedback!

Here is Part One and Part Two and Part Three
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Part Four:

Her hands moved up and down his legs, enjoying the feel of his fine wool trousers, she paused to grip his strong thighs, then continued, letting her hands brush up against his erection.

Her eyes met his and she whispered "You're wearing too many clothes". She sat back on her legs, bringing her hands to his feet. She helped him step out of his shoes, tossing them to the side.

She brought her lips to the skin of his stomach. She kissed slowly , sliding her tongue back and forth. Her hands moved to grip his ass, and then back along the waistline of his pants. Her fingers moved to the zipper while her lips followed. Her hands pressed lightly along his cock as she unzipped his pants, she slid his pants off his legs revealing his deep blue silk boxers. She removed his pants and socks, tossing them to the side.

She let her hands wander over the soft silk of his boxers; she liked the feel on her hands and wanted to feel the sensuous fabric on her body. Her lips were so close to his skin he could feel her warm breath on his stomach. Her fingers hooked the waist of his boxers, then sliding them over his erection, she let out a soft moan at the sight of his hard cock. She helped him step out of his boxers, then let the soft silk drift over her legs, her pussy and her breasts before tossing them to the side, joining the pile of clothes already littering his office. Still sitting back on her legs, she enjoyed the view of his body then told him to sit in his chair. He complied immediately.

She watched him hungrily. He sat at the edge of the chair, his body leaning back, his legs open, inviting her in.

She crawled to him, her eyes never left his. She brought her hands to his legs letting her finger tips travel up his legs. Looking at him, she whispered 'I want to taste you'. She brought her lips to the inside of his thigh, slowly kissing her way up his leg and bringing herself up on her knees. Her hands rested on his thighs and she paused to admire his hard cock. He looked delicious, his hair neatly trimmed, the tip glistening with pre-cum. His hands found their way back to her soft hair and he whispered, 'You're beautiful'.

She looked up at him and smiled. She ran her fingertips up and down his hard shaft then brought her lips to him and kissed his beautiful hard cock, sighing with pleasure. His body shuddered at the initial contact. Her lips and tongue kissed and licked down his length, her tongue flicked at the base of his cock as she brought her hand up to cup his balls, gently massaging them while her other hand continued to touch his thigh and the backside of his leg. She moved her mouth to his balls, taking one in her mouth and sucking gently then moving to the other.

Her hand moved to the inside of his thigh, her finger gently stroking the very sensitive spot behind his sac. Her mouth released his balls and her tongue moved back to his cock and in one slow motion her tongue traveled up his length, stopping just below the head allowing her tongue to play with the sensitive spot that formed a V.

She let her tongue taste the juices that were dripping down his shaft. She was in heaven, slowly licking and tasting him, his cock was so wet from her tongue and his juices.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. Watching her tongue and lips on his cock was mind shattering. He brushed her hair away from her face, partly so he could watch her lips on him but also just to be touching her.

He felt her tongue sweep across the head, her tongue swirled around , flicking over his slit and playing with the V spot. Her finger and thumb circled base, her fingers pumping while her tongue kissed and licked the head. Her lips wrapped around the head of his cock and started to suck. She moved her head slowly up and down at first then side to side creating an almost circular sucking motion. The circle her fingers formed around his cock slid up to just below the head.

Her hand moved down off his shaft and cupped his balls again, gently massaging and pulling down on then just slightly. She lowered her head, taking more of his cock into her mouth, slowly sliding up and down his length. As her mouth moved down his length she let the tip slide across the roof of her mouth, then sucked harder as she pulled up.

She slid her hand back to the base of his cock and gave him a squeeze, then used her hand as a guide, sliding his head back and forth over her slippery lips.

She loved the way his cock felt on her lips and in her mouth. She was so excited, she needed to touch herself. Her hand moved from his thigh to her breast, she briefly pinched her nipple before moving down to her pussy. Her finger rubbed her clit and dipped into her wet cunt. She couldn't contain her pleasure and moaned softly.

He felt her soft hum. He was at the edge and he wanted to be in her hot pussy but he was so close to exploding. He whispered "I'm going to come soon, slide up here so I can feel your hot pussy". Her eyes met his, her tongue played with the tip of his cock and she gave him a wicked grin. Her hand pumped his length but her lips paused just long enough to say "I want to taste you; I want you to cum in my mouth." She brought her fingers from her pussy and reached up, offering her wetness to his mouth, he licked and sucked her fingers before she moved it back down, gripping his leg.

Her lips moved back to sucking on his head, her tongue swirled around as she bobbed up and down and side to side. Her lips would dip just below the ridge of his cock then back up again. Her fingers formed a ring around his cock just below her lips, her mouth and fingers gripping and pumping his cock in one synchronized motion.

She altered the depth on his cock, taking most of it in her mouth, her fingers pumping the base, then short quick thrusts riding just over the rim at the base of the head.

Oh fuck he wasn't going to last long. She knew he was close, his hands gripped her hair and he thrust his hips to her face.

She took his length into her mouth. Her lips formed a tight circle around his cock while her fingers applied slight pressure. She quickened her pace matching the rhythm of his humping.

Sucking him faster and harder while her hand squeezed and pumped his cock in time with her mouth, his moans told her everything she needed to know.

"I'm going to cum", he whispered it a raspy voice, then she felt his hot cream in the back of her mouth, his body stiffened as the orgasm washed over his body, cum shooting deep into her throat. She swallowed every bit of his juice, keeping her lips tight around his cock, milking every ounce out of him. His hands gripped her hair roughly, he needed to hold on as the orgasm sent spasms throughout his body. His body finally relaxed and she slowly and gently released his cock from her mouth. She gently licked his softening shaft, caressing him with her tongue, savoring his juices. He watched her as she used the back of her hand to wipe her mouth. She looked as if she just got caught eating a messy ice cream cone. Even wiping cum from her face was pleasurable which made it so sexy.

Her hands caressed his thighs and she climbed up his body to straddle him. His arms wrapped around her, she kissed him tenderly, he tasted his salty juices on her tongue. She curled up on his chest, resting her head on his shoulder, her hair cascading over his body. Even though her body was long, she was tiny and fit perfectly into the crook of his arm, her soft, warm body curled up on his chest and legs. She felt as comforting as a blanket. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. He could feel in her breath that she had fallen asleep. He kissed her forehead then nuzzled up to her and joined her.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Lights out at the Office - Part 3 - On the Desk...

Here is Part One and Part Two.

Part Three: - On the Desk

His tongue licked the length of her pussy through the thin material. Her panties were soaked and he could taste her sweetness. His tongue flicked her hard bud through the silk. She moaned softly. She lay back on his desk, pushing papers and pencils noisily to the floor. It was not the most comfortable position but she didn't care, she wanted to open herself to him.

He softly kissed her pussy, flicking his tongue over her clit while his hands moved up along her outer thighs until his fingers hooked the waist of her panties. He slid her panties down her thighs slowly, past her knees. He ducked his head to allow her feet to come together, momentarily hiding herself. He held the damp silk in his hands then dropped them to the floor. Turning back to her, he held her bare feet in his hands and moved them apart once again.

Her sudden exposure caused her to gasp with excitement. He gazed at her now naked body. Her pussy was as beautiful as the rest of her. She had a small patch of neatly trimmed black hair but her lips were smooth, free of hair and glistening with her juices. He leaned down and licked the full, wet, length. He caught himself growling with pleasure. Her back arched, her hands touching his hair, his head.

He pulled her to the edge of the desk and knelt in front of her. He spread her legs wider opening her beautiful pussy. His tongue gently flicked her clit. He began licking her, his tongue moving in slow, small circles around her clit, then larger circles, licking her entire pussy. His tongue dipped inside her, and then back to her clit. His hands moved to her center and he used his thumbs to open her even more, pulling back the folds and fully exposing her bud.

His tongue focused on her sensitive bud, licking one side then moving to the other. She was wiggling with pleasure, her legs wrapped around him. Her hands moved to cup her breasts, rolling her nipples between her thumb and finger, adding to her pleasure.

He could have cum from just licking her and watching her touch herself. His tongue moved over her entire pussy again, lapping up her sweet juices. Then he focused small circles on the topmost sensitive part. He moved one finger to join his tongue. The sensation of his finger and tongue on her clit brought her to the edge. He moved his tongue faster still focusing on her clit, while one finger, then two, slid inside her wet pussy.

He spread his fingers, moving slowly at first then increasing his speed. The more she wiggled, the more she moaned with pleasure,

“That feels so good”, she said, her voice heavy with lust, “I'm going to cum.”

She didn't want this feeling of being at the edge to end but she couldn't hold on any longer. He felt her pussy clench around his fingers as the orgasm took over. Her entire body felt electrified, her pussy convulsed as the orgasm consumed her. Her legs tightened around him, her hands grabbing his hair pulling him in tighter. His tongue and fingers continued to fuck her, extending her orgasm for as long as he could, for as long as she could stand. Her body finally relaxed and settled back on to his desk, chest heaving, legs open, her heart pounding. He pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. She tasted delicious. He gently licked pussy again and she moaned softly.

He continued kissing her, moving to her belly, climbing up on this desk until he was on top of her so he could focus his lips on her breasts. His tongue swirled around her nipple then gently bit her. Her legs wrapped around his body, their lips came together in a deep and passionate kiss.

Her pussy began to ache again with the arousal caused by his lips on her breasts. She pressed her body to his, her hands wandering over his back, moving to his ass. She squeezed him and kissed him harder, she wanted to taste him and fuck him, but right now she needed get off the desk. She nibbled his ear with a giggle and then whispered, "Stand up, my back is killing me."

He stood up then took her hand so she could stand up and stretch her body.

He pulled her to him. Her naked body felt warm against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, massaging every part of her backside. He was about to pick her up again and move her to a more comfortable location but she wouldn't let him. Instead she smiled a naughty little smile. She kissed his lips and his cheek then moved to his neck. She kissed his neck and then let her tongue trail down his neck until she reached his shoulder. She bit him hard. She liked to bite. Damn, how something could hurt so much and feel so good. He moaned in pleasure and pain.

She felt him jump a little from the bite and this only seemed to excite her more. Her lips moved along his body, kissing his chest, sucking on his nipple. She moved lower on his chest, down to his stomach, and then she lowered herself to her knees. She looked up at him, her lips were parted and there was a hunger in her eyes. He put his hands in her tousled hair. He couldn't believe this beautiful, sexy creature was on her knees in front of him.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Lghts out at the Office - Part 2 - Anticipation

This story was written by a friend of mine. She is a talented and very erotic e-mail author and she had give me the honor of editing and posting her first long story... Please enjoy and comment with positive feedback. Here is a link to Part One

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Part Two - Anticipation

Her hands were on his shoulders and his neck; her simple touches sent shivers through his body.

Still in his chair, his hands moved to her hips, down the soft denim covering her thighs, then up the back of her legs so he could caress her ass. His hands slid up and under her shirt, feeling the warm skin on her back. His thumbs felt the curve of her breast as his hands moved lower to wrap around her slender waist. He held her there and kissed her belly, his tongue tracing the waistband of her panties.

He grabbed the belt loops of her jeans and slid them down, off her body. His fingers slowly moved back up the sides of her bare legs until they found her ass again. He gently squeezed and caressed her while his lips kissed her belly, his tongue dipping below the edge of lacy black material.

She leaned into him, letting out a small sigh of pleasure. She wanted more; her pussy was already wet and throbbing.

His hands moved back to her waist, then up along her stomach. He needed to get this shirt off of her. He stood from his chair and let his hands continue to wander up her belly and in between her breasts, teasingly touching the soft curves. His hands moved to her shoulders opening her shirt more and then pushing it down until it dropped to the floor. She stood in front of him, wearing only her bra and panties. God, she was beautiful in every way. Her eyes were so dark, almost black; her long dark hair flowed over her shoulders and back. Her breasts were full, but smaller, fitting her slender body perfectly. Her waist and hips were both slim, yet curvy.

For a moment he thought she wasn't real. But then her hands moved to his body, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. Her hands slowly touched his chest. She kissed his chest, moving closer to his nipple. Her lips kissed around his nipple, her tongue slowly teasing before she gently grabbed it with her teeth, pulling slightly, then she sucked on it hard, all while her thumb and finger gently squeezed and pinched his other.

His hands moved up along her back, to the nape of her neck, he gently gripped her hair. Her long hair tickled his chest, her lips on his body were like heaven. He wanted to feel her lips on his hard cock. He felt as if he were about to explode. He needed more of this stranger, this new girl that came by for company in the dark, but was offering so much more. He needed to taste her now.

He gripped her hair more firmly and pulled her lips to his. They kissed hard, filled with lust and desire, their arms firmly wrapped around each other. Their lips separated, both gasping for a breath. He grabbed her ass and lifted her and she instinctively wrapped her legs around him. He wanted to fuck her hard but he also wanted to savor every moment of this, every moment of her. He got lost in her eyes. she smiled, her eyes so expressive, playful and filled with passion.

He set her down on the desk and softly kissed her lips. Then she surprised him by biting back. This only furthered his arousal. He kissed along her neck until he reached the gentle curve where neck becomes shoulder. He nuzzled her for a moment, first kissing and nibbling, then sucking hard and then he gave her a passionate bite. Her hands dug into his shoulder and she moaned softly, pressing her body to his. His lips moved to her shoulder, his hand pushing her bra strap away; he kissed along the edge of her bra and on the curve of her breast. He could see her hard nipple through the sheer fabric. He blew gently on her nipple and saw the goose bumps on her breast and heard the arousal in her breathing. His hands slipped to her back and unhooked the clasp; sliding it silently to the floor, exposing her to him in the darkness of his office.


His hands moved down along her arms then moved to her thighs. He gazed down at her body, her small breasts looked soft and her nipples looked hard with arousal.

Her hands came up to his chest. She spent a moment touching his shoulders, neck, and chest. Her hands traveled down to his waist, she paused to unbutton his pants then her hands moved to his hips. She kissed his chest and flicked his nipple with her tongue. She let go of him and pushed herself further back on his desk, leaning back on her hands, inviting him to gaze upon the length of her body. She stretched out her leg to him, her foot on his chest pushing him slightly away, smiling. Her foot moved down his chest until she reached the waistband of his pants. She let her toes trail back and forth along the edge of his waist band, playing with the button. The gentle touch was oddly erotic.

Slowly she slid her foot down until she was touching the length of his erection. The touch to his hard cock made him catch his breath. Her foot was beautiful and watching her rub his cock with it was almost enough to make him climax. He let her continue, closing his eyes briefly to concentrate. The soft skin of her big toe pressed expertly at the base of his engorged head and rubbed softly.

Partly to delay his own climax, and partly to touch her, he grabbed her foot and brought it to his lips; she let out a playful laugh. He started kissing the top of her foot. Slowly his hands and lips moved to her ankle then her calf. She was ticklish and squirmed as he kissed her, soft giggles mixed with heavy breathing in the darkened office.

He set her leg on the desk and he placed his hands on her knees, opening her legs wider. He leaned down and started to kiss the inside of her thigh. Slowly he kissed, pausing to taste her with his tongue and nibble lightly.

His tongued moved upwards until it reached the edge of her panties which barely covered her. His hands massaged the toned muscles of her leg while his tongue teased the ticklish skin of her thigh, and then moved, lightly licking her skin at the edge of her panties. She gasped, watching him, waiting for more.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Lights out at the office - Part 1 - Introductions

To all my friends,

This story is the work of a dear on-line friend of mine who's teasing and tantalizing e-mails have kept me intrigued for some time now. A couple of months ago I mentioned that the power went out in my building one night as I was working late. We joked that "lights out" in the office opened up some interesting fantasy ideas and within a couple of days, Part One - "Introductions" was in my in-box. She has given me the honor of helping her edit her work, and I hope that it turns you on as much as did me.

If you like her story, please add some comments of encouragement. Be honest, but polite. I want her to keep writing. The rest of her story will follow each day of this week.


Part One:

He was working late one evening, trying desperately to finish everything before the holiday when the power went out and the lights went off. "Damn", he thought. He could still use his laptop, so he decided to stay and continue working. His office was dark except for the light coming from his computer screen.

After some time working in the dark, the frustration and headache starting to set in, he decided it was time to call it a night. It was at that moment his door opened. In walked a woman, and although it was dark he was certain he didn't recognize her. She stood leaning in the doorway, her long dark hair cascading over her shoulders. She wore a white button down shirt, unbuttoned dangerously low and un-tucked, a pair of well worn jeans, and oddly, he thought she was bare foot.

She said "Hi" in a wonderfully soft voice. She told him she was new with the company, working late and saw a glow from under his door and thought he might like some company for a while.

How could he refuse? He invited her in.

He offered her a seat but she stood next to him instead, asking him about his work. She was standing very close to him, too close. She smelled of lavender, he breathed in her intoxicating scent. She was distracting but he was able to discuss his current project for a few minutes then sighed and pushed his chair away from the computer. She turned and faced him. He looked into her dark brown eyes, at her full lips; his eyes traveled down her body and he couldn't help but think how much he wanted her out of those jeans.

She watched him looking at her; she smiled as if reading his thoughts. She stepped into his open legs, bent down, and softly kissed him on the lips. She touched his face, sliding her thumb across his lips. She kissed him again, harder this time, and then gently bit his lower lip.

She took a step back and slowly started to unbutton her shirt. When she finished her hands traveled back up, parting her shirt, exposing her belly and lacy black bra, her finger tips traced the edges of her bra then circled her nipples.

Her olive skin looked smooth and soft. He wanted to touch her, to taste her. The erection in his pants was growing harder; he wouldn't be able to resist must longer.

Her hands slowly traveled back down, she opened the button and zipper of her jeans exposing lacy black panties.

He couldn't wait any longer. He grabbed the waist of her jeans and pulled her to him.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Valentine's recap



We didn't get around to having sex on Valentine's Day. Our kids made us a romantic dinner all on their on and we ate it together in the kitchen, complete with candles and place cards. They dressed up as waitresses as they like to do. The entrée was yogurt chicken, a recipe I got from my sister-in-law. It was easy for the kids to make and tastes wonderful. We exchanged Valentine's Day cards around the table but I had left mine in the bedroom as a surprise for that evening.

We got the kids to bed and settled in to watch a movie that my wife had been looking forward to for quite a long time.

It was the second "X-Files" movie and the combination of David and the other chick had put it high on her list. We settled in to watch around 9:30 and, in a nutshell, the movie sucked. It sucked on every level, except the good one. The plot was stupid. The acting was bad. There was no chemistry be between the two main characters, Fox Mulder and Scully. There were too many movie coincidences to be explained, and explanations ran short order when discussing the plot, the bad guy, the motivation for the bad guy, and even why it was important to keep the bad guy alive. It was horrible on every moviemaking level.

They couldn't even film the final scene right. The two main characters kiss, they kiss after years of teasing on the TV show, and they kiss as they reconcile their differences in the movie. Instead of showing this long-awaited kiss, the cinematographer decided to show us the back of David's head. I do not care about the back of David's head, neither does my wife. She was literally screaming at the screen for the cinematographer to do it better, to do it differently, and to show us that kiss.

Combine the two hour running time and a mid-movie phone call from her sister, and we didn't get done until after midnight. My gift this year was practical, not overly romantic, but an asset in the bedroom. I bought her an electric blanket. She gets cold on the hottest summer nights, and frequently wears socks to bed. In fact, one of the surest ways I know that I am about to have sex is that the sox are off. In the middle of winter that's such a good indicator. I've had a lot of sex with a soft feel of cotton on her feet.

I had excused myself a few minutes before the end of the movie and went in to the bedroom to turn on the blanket. The new blanket is a darker shade of red than our old blanket, so she didn't notice it as she walked back and forth between our bedroom, bathroom, and the kid's room. She finally noticed that when she pulled the pillows off and turned down comforter. She was very excited and very pleased with the gift and jumped right in to feel how it felt. She told me that was very nice, a wonderful gift, and a great surprise.

As she pulled away the last of the pillow she saw the second part of my gift, a cute little card, and a new pair of panties. These were bright pink boy shorts with a multicolored waistband and I was getting hard just thinking about her wearing them.

She told me that she thought they were cute but that it was too late for any "funny business" and that sex would have to wait until the next day. I insisted enough that she tried them on and I was right, she looked hot.

Sundays at my house are always a little bit hectic and February 15 was no exception. With church in the morning and a babysitting appointment at her sister's house in the afternoon we didn't have any alone time until we got back to the house at 10:00 PM

The benefit of the hour-long drive home is that the kids fall asleep and it's easy to pull them out of the car and plop them into bed. By 10:15 the house was quiet, the computers were off, and we decided not to leave the TV off.

As I went about my routine, shutting down the house, cleaning the kitchen, and starting the dishes in the dishwasher, she was in the bedroom getting ready for me. When I walked back in to the bedroom she was wearing her robe sitting on the bed reading her Scriptures. She looked up at me and smiled and asked me if I was ready for bed.

I replied that I would be as soon as I brushed my teeth, and she told me to hurry. I did. With teeth brushed and bladder emptied, I washed my hands and opened the door that separated us.

She had dropped the robe and was standing next to her dresser and mirror wearing nothing but the new pink panties and a see-through spaghetti strap tank top. She looked amazing and I started to get hard. I walked over to her quickly wrapped my arms around her and kissed her deeply. Our mouths opened and our tongues entwined at once and I dropped my hands to her pink-wrapped ass and squeezed her tightly, pressing her pubic bone against my hard cock.

"What's gotten into you?" She asked with a giggle.

"You look so freaking hot." I responded as I pulled her down onto the bed, my hands never leaving her ass, but slipping down inside her new panties to caress and spread her cheeks.

She undressed me quickly and completely but I refused to let her take off anything. I wanted to see her wrapped in my gifts, her legs spread, a wet spot forming, and perhaps relive the memory of our first days together when everything was a jumble of touching, exploring, and discovering what wonderful things were hidden behind a pair of jeans and a JC Penney blouse.

My hand dropped between her legs and I signaled for her to spread them wide. I could feel the folds of her lips underneath the thin pink fabric and I gently stroked her cunt as I felt the moisture seep through the material. I could feel her clitoris harden and rise in prominence as her arousal followed suit. With another tap on her inner thigh she spread her legs further for me and I began to press the fabric deep between the folds of her pussy. Her breathing was starting to shorten, started to come in a more ragged gasps, and I knew that she was enjoying the attention. Leaving her tank top on forced me to pay attention to things besides her nipples and I feasted hungrily on her neck, her cheeks, and her hair. I inhaled her scent, her fragrance, and kissed her again and again on the forhead, her eyes, her nose.

While her orgasm was approaching I knew that it would be unusual for her to cum from touching alone so I reached under the bed and grabbed Mr. Happy, our bulbous head vibrating friend. I turn the switch and pressed for large round surface against her clit, changing the pressure, moving it up and down, and rubbing it gently against her. After getting a couple of looks that told me I wasn't doing it quite right I placed her hand on the shaft of the vibrator and let her take over. This was always my plan and my favorite thing to watch. I love watching her masturbate with her vibrator as she guides it so expertly against the soft folds of her lips and she gets it on her clit just so.

My job in this process is to touch and kiss and caress everything but her clit. One of the things that I have discovered is to place the two fingers right above where the vibrator makes contact. There, in a circular motion as if I was giving her the finger myself, I move her clit around under the vibrating head, changing the pressure in ways that she could not do with the vibrator alone. As her orgasm approaches I press firmly against the skin and pull upward, lifting the lips away from her clit and opening her cunt so that Mr. Happy hits it directly, usually pushing her over the edge in a matter of moments. But this time I would lift, stretch, and then relax, bringing her closer and closer, without letting her finish.

She was having a hard time breathing. I knew she was close and I was loving the tease, loving watching her gasp and quiver and finally, as I pulled and put tension on the skin and her lips, she came with a crash, twitching, gasping, and pressing the big vibrating head harder and harder against her open and soaking cunt.

She held Mr. Happy against her body longer than usual and I think I saw a second orgasm pulse through her. Barely able to breathe she turned off Mr. Happy and tossed it off the bed laughing, and telling me what I wanted to hear that it was a fantastic climax and she admitted, much to my joy, that it was a “Big one, a really big one."

I was as hard as I could get, and I quickly jumped between her legs and forced them apart with my knees. She spread her legs and lifted her hips up to put them at the right angle for penetration. She volunteered to take off her panties and I told her "No way." I roughly pulled the material to the side and started probing for her hole. It sounds kind of crude to say it that way but at this point I was hungry for penetration, hungry for insertion, and I sought her out with little tenderness and with much passion.

After a couple of misguided attempts she reached between my legs and grabbed my erection and led me into the promised. Her orgasm had made her incredibly wet and at the same time incredibly tight. My first few strokes were shallow, gently opening her up to my size, and, as she wrapped her up legs fully around me and I began thrusting in earnest.

Her clit is always very tender after her orgasm but at the same time her orgasm makes her open and ready, wet and inviting, and I don't have to hold back. Unlike positions were she is on top, I can thrust forcefully when I'm on top without causing her any pain. I looked down and saw my shaft piston in and out, the soft stretchy fabric of her panties pushed to the side. Watching myself go in and out brought me to the brink and I turned my attention back to my wife, now panting again as another orgasm approached. I leaned in and kissed her hard, she wrapped her arms around me and held me close as my tongue invaded her mouth and my cock entered her pussy. Five, 10, 20, then maybe 30 strokes later it exploded deep inside her.

Again and again and again I myself contract deep inside her. I held myself rigid and deep and let the waves of my orgasm flow over me.

I shifted my weight back into my hands and knees to lift my weight off of her, but I kept myself inside. I slowly pulled myself in and out and I felt her hand gently massage her own body as I moved back and forth, in and out. I held myself in deep again as I felt an aftershock orgasm rippled through, and I felt the last of my come leave my now softening tip. I pulled out from her and held her close, repositioning her new panties to stop the outward flow. Gently, knowing that she would be sensitive to my touch, I placed my hands between her legs and again pressed the material into her body, forcing it to absorb and show the moisture that was now within her. We kissed for a long time under the new electric blanket and tell she rolled over kissed me deeply one more time.

It was a wonderful Valentine's Day, even if it did come 24 hours late.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

TMI Tuesday #174

My answers aren't that interesting today, but it got me started.....

1. What is your favorite charity? Do you give your time or just money to that charity?
My favorite charity is my church because I have never seen them waste any money, most of the donations stay local to help people I know and care about, and it trust the men and women who decide where it goes. My other charity is the Red Cross. I donate blood every 58 days and give them money once a year.

2. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on?
My bed is a hand-me-down from my brother-in-law. A simple little queen-size bed. It was a wonderful acquisition considering the fact that my wife and I shared a full-sized mattress for the first 10 years of our marriage. It taught us how to sleep and snuggle at the same time because there wasn’t any room to spread out. When I’m in a hotel room on business travel, I sleep right in the middle and move around a lot. At home I’m always on the right as you look at the bed from the bottom (my left as I lay in bed). This works out great except for when I’m fingering my wife as part of sex. It puts my left hand in action when I’m really right-handed. If she wants to cum from finger-play we have to switch sides. My left hand can get her off, but it’s quicker, and I’m better, with my right.

3. How important is a partners kissing ability?
I love long make out sessions so being a great kisser is paramount. I dated CJ for a long time; she was beautiful, wonderful with her hands, a talented artist, with fantastic hair, but in the end, a horrible kisser and that was actually on my list of reasons I broke up with her.

4. Have you ever "taken advantage" of a person under the influence of alcohol? Have you ever been "taken advantage" of while under the influence of alcohol?
As a non-drinker, I have always been the designated driver so no one has ever taken advantage of me this way, but I learned early, and used it often, that drunk girls are easy marks. I was a virgin when I got married, but along the way I got a lot of dry-humping and hand-jobs from women who were sloshed. My favorite was an extremely drunk and horny lesbian who was made at her GF. We made out in the parking lot until her crazy partner came out and started yelling at her. I got a follow-up date, however, and we made out in the park while she was in her bikini working on her tan. She came then too.

5. Ever tried to replay the famous scene from From Here to Eternity? How was it?
I grew up with a ski boat so I’ve spend a lot of time on the beach. It is horrible for sex or anything that involves laying down. I have, however, gotten hand jobs in the water and returned the favor on a number of occasions. That work pretty well if the water’s not too cold.

Bonus (as in optional): What kind of birth control do you use?
Snip, Snip. I got my vasectomy about 6 months after our last child was born and it was the best decision I ever made. No more condoms, no more worries, no more “timing.”

Last year my wife realized that I had not gone in for my 3 month fertility “re-check” and refused to have intercourse until I got back in to see the doctor. This resulted in a couple of extra hand jobs but when the sperm count came back as 0.0, she relaxed quite a bit.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Learning something new

I will explain more later (maybe), but I just found out that I can not pee while doing a push-up.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Survey Question Comments - Favorite Activity


This was my survey question of a couple of months ago and I found the results very interesting.

It didn't surprise me that Intercourse was the favorite activity, but it did catch me off guard that "Oral - Receiving" didn't get any votes, but "Oral - Giving" received three.

What does this say about our voters? Does it mean anything except that, with only 9 votes, that my surveys aren't interesting enough to vote on?

Does it mean that most of us like the intimacy of giving oral? Is it the sense of acceptance, the dropping of barriers? The ingestion of the other? Does it hearken back to the first days of life when sucking meant life and nourishment? Does it go further down the evolutionary chain to when eating another meant life instead of death?

I like how the poll turned out, because it validates a lot of my hopes for humanity, that our favorite thing brings us together, and that giving, rather than receiving, takes second place.

As for me? I love going down on my wife. She often begs off in fear of personal issues, but I have never been sorry to have offered. I love how she has to open up to me, whether I am on the floor with her legs hanging over my shoulders, or we we are both on the bed with her knees splayed wide, I love seeing and feeling her open herself to me. It is a position that must be welcomed, invited, encouraged. With 69 I love being the one underneath, watching her lower herself down on me to bring her lips to my tongue, to force herself open, fragrant, wet, eager.

To make her cum with my tongue is my loftiest goal, and my favorite result. I love her more when she allows me this delicious privilege and eagerly anticipate it with every encounter.


And, I'm glad that at least one person voted for Anal Play, I'd hate to leave that out....



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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Memories from Seattle



It is 4:00 PM on a Friday afternoon. My work for the day is done. I've shut down my e-mail and am now just waiting for my bus at 5 PM. My wife has agreed to babysit our friend’s three children while they go out on date night so I have no motivation to catch the early bus. Their kids are okay, I guess, but combined with ours you get a lot of noisy kids and I am not in the mood for that today. What I am in the mood for is to see my wife's friend. She is amazingly cute, slim, newly enhanced breasts, and is about four months pregnant.



She is so skinny that she is already starting to show and it makes her amazingly sexy. I have thought about her in the shower, while with my wife, and while doing long runs through the trails around my house. She is fuel for the fantasy. Hopefully I will see her when they come to pick up the kids. Since she and her husband are going out to dinner and a movie, I am hoping that she will be dressed up nice.



Why is this coming up? Because the other day I came across the picture with this post and it reminded me of something that happened to me in high school. I was able to travel with my high school symphony on several trips. We were one of the best orchestras in my state for several years and we got invited all over the West.



My senior year we were in Seattle for a music festival and I was able to meet up with my cousin and go out to dinner. She took me to a fairly high end restaurant downtown. When we arrived I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I got through the door I heard some frantic whispering, some giggling, and lots of zippers zipping.



I leaned back against the counter and waited for the stall door to open so I could take my turn. Much to my 17 year old mind’s surprise, out walked a woman and her boyfriend. It took me a minute to process what was going on. At first I was distracted because the women coming out of the stall was beautiful. I can still remember that she was wearing a very short red dress with high black pumps.



She tried to hide her face as she walked past me while he looked at me and smiled.



By the time they were gone and it was my turn to use the stall I had popped a woody that refused to go down. I have thought about that moment, her dress, those fantastic shoes, and my reaction for years.

For a long time it was the main focus of my fantasies, and probably is the root of my outdoor sex fantasies that persist today.



I don't know if I interrupted them before during or after. Sometimes in my fantasies she was down on her knees, sometimes she was up against the wall, her skirt hitched up around her waist, perched on those beautiful high heels while she let him in from behind, and, as I got older, she would invite me to join them. It was a powerful image then in finding this picture brought it all back.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Has this ever happened to you?

Really?

Please share your story in the comments section in 100 words or less.

Friday, February 6, 2009

VD Expectations


What is the expectation?

Valentine’s is almost upon us, only a few shopping days left, and I’m already annoyed that I’m expected to come up with the perfect gift. Now, defining “perfect” is difficult because it changes from year to year and it is certainly different for each couple, each relationship, each pairing.

So, let’s start with a few questions.

At what point in a relationship’s development do Valentine’s expectations begin?

If I meet you at the company Christmas party and we are still dating in early February, am I obligated to get you a gift? Does it matter if we have slept together? Multiple times? With multiple people or with video camera’s involved?

What if we just met in January at a night club and all we have done is hook-up? What then? What is the woman’s expectation and how is it different if sex is or isn’t part of the relationship? Do I have to buy you a gift just because I’ve seen you naked and called you “Mistress”? Does it change if I have met your friends or family?

And what about the opposite? Am I entitled to a gift because I licked you in to oblivion in the back of your roommate’s ’96 Volvo after hearing a night of bad garage bands at the local music dive?

And what about relationships over a year, under 2, no engagements, no promises? Is the size of the gift related to with length of the relationship, his penis, the size of his bank account or her breasts, the employment status of the gift recipient, or the “needy” factor of the partner with the lowest self-esteem of the pair?

And married people? Now here is my minefield. My wife hates me sending flowers, but loved flowers from the farmer’s market that is no longer in business. She has returned almost every piece of clothing ever purchased for her, but insists that she loves my “shopping style.” She didn’t like the camera I bought her for Christmas, doesn’t have interests in music, books, or tech gadgets, and is afraid that I’m going to get laid off at any minute. I’ve bought her various lingerie in the past but it only comes out a couple of times a year and she thinks she has “plenty.” We have several sex toys but she really only uses one, and feels that needed it to cum makes her less of a woman. Aaaagh.

So currently the only gift I’m sure of is for my girlfriend at work. She is getting a VS gift certificate and a shower chair. She loves, loves, loves, long hot showers and, since she is in an apartment building with a shared water bill, she stays in forever.

So what is everyone else doing for VD? What formula do you use or do you just get in a fight and break up on Feb 7th every year only to have great make-up sex on Feb 21st?

Women, what do you expect this year?
Men, what are you shopping for?

Will any of us be happy with our decisions on the 15th?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Does this count?

She’s my wife’s best friend. They do movie night, scrapbook, and the kids get together for pool dates at her house. I’ve had a crush on her since she moved in to the neighborhood four years ago, and last summer at my birthday barbecue she admitted the same thing about me.



She knocked on the door and I let her in. My wife wasn’t home so I asked her in and things started to escalate quickly. She reached up and cupped my face in her hands and kissed me gently, and then with more passion. Her tongue entered my mouth and I returned the kiss. As shocked as I was, I didn’t back away and let her take the lead.



With almost no thought, she undressed and pressed her body against mine. Her slim hips and smooth skin melted against mine and my hands dropped to her tight little ass and began kneading her muscular bottom. She began humping her hips against my erect cock and, urging my hands to be rougher and probe deeper.



My clothes vanished and her fingers wrapped around my cock and started pumping me up and down. Our bodies pressed together as she stroked me. Her thumbs covered and stroked the head and smoothed the copious pre-cum over the tight skin. I wanted desperately to be inside her. Her breasts, firm, small, and got some attention from my shaking hands an I felt her nipples grazing across the skin of my chest.



Dropping my hands back down I pulled her hips against mine, trapping her hands around my cock. My fingers spread her cheeks roughly and I tickled the tight folds of her ass without entering. This tender touch pushed her over the edge and her hands gripped and pumped me with increasing speed. My orgasm was fast and edgy, my cum shot out so hot and fast that it stung the delicate skin inside my dick.



It flooded over her hands, landed on her skin, crept in to our pubic hair. She continued stroking and milking me for all I was worth and I felt each pulse, each drop, each sticky white ounce gush through her fingers.



As our orgasms subsided we somehow ended up in the kitchen, panting exhausted, leaning against the china hutch her husband had helped me make.



Her naked body, perfect in every curve was covered in sweat and glistened as the sun shone through my kitchen window. With my fingernail I traced the curve of her neck, the muscles of her shoulders, the soft fullness of her breasts, the crinkled skin of her dark pink nipples. My fingers continued downward across her stomach, still tight after two kids, across the front, tracing her C-section scar that acted as the northern border to her curly blond hair. Gently I moved downward, splitting her, finding the sweet spot and circling quietly until another wave of pleasure washed over her and her legs weakened and she folded herself into my arms.



I smiled and held her as my mind replayed the experience. It was about half way through, just before the first jolt of my orgasm that I realized I was dreaming. Willing myself to stay focused yet sleepy, my wet-dream washed over me and filled my sleeping shorts with cum. My conscious mind followed slave-like as the fantasy mind brought me to climax in the arms of the woman I fantasize about most often; the golden-haired beauty that catches my eye and makes my heart flutter, my wife’s best friend.

Oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to do that on command… But now, I sit and worry that my wife will do laundry and start to wonder….



Wednesday, February 4, 2009

February is off to a good start.


Written Feb 3, posted on the 4th

My company recently instituted a plan were senior staff members can telecommute, or work from home, one day a week. I started doing this about 4 months ago. The benefits are many, fewer miles on my car, less money spent on petrol, one less shirt for the laundry, and one more day without a tie.

Other days, the benefits are even greater.

My girls, both in school, get home in the early afternoon, right after my youngest goes for a nap, so my wife and i have very little time alone, even when I'm working from home. Today was different. Daughter 1 had a play date, and Daughter 2 was staying to work on a drama project, so we had an extra hour to ourselves while Son 1 was napping.

She pulled me in to the bedroom and asked me what I wanted. "A quickie? A blow job?"

I said that I wanted "You"

She laughed and pulled off her top and I stripped quickly down to nothing. She knelt between my legs and took me in to her mouth and began sucking. It was wonderful. Then, in the middle, she said that our friend's mom was getting remarried next week. She is over 80 years old. While it was cute that old people found love, we admitted that the image of her naked with a new husband was quite a mood killer.

It didn't take me long to climax, which was the point of the mid-afternoon BJ. We snuggled and kissed for a bit, I cleaned up, and got back to my computer. 15 minutes later the kids arrived and naptime was over, so the timing was perfect.

February is turning in to a good month so far.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

TMI Tuesday #172

1. When you sleep with someone, how much or how little contact do you like to have?



If by “sleep” you mean sleep, I love to fall asleep all snuggled up and close. It’s hard to pick between spoons (with me behind her) and me on my back with her head on my chest. There are pros and cons with each. Falling asleep while spooning is tough because my wife has a great ass and it always, always turns me on to hold her that way, so I pop a boner, she gets annoyed, and moved to the other side of the bed, so no snuggle, no sex. The other way, with her on my chest, is bad because my right arm is under her, wrapping around her, and it falls asleep after a few minutes and hurts like hell.



If by “sleep”, you mean sex,, Then I like to be able to move, to see, and to feel. That means a little bit of distance sometimes. My favorite visual position is my wife on top, sittling tall so I can fondle her chest, straddling me while I’m inside her, and lifting herself off a bit so I can see my penis move in and out of her. But, when I cum, I like her to sit down with all her weight, increasing the feeling of penetration, and then I like it when she comes down and kisses me while the aftershocks of my orgasm sweep through me. I really like the afterglow snuggling while my wife likes to get up and get cleaned-up quickly. She laughs at me because I like to hold her and kiss her when I’m cumming. She thinks I’m such a girl at that moment….My 2nd favorite is doggy style which doesn’t have much skin-to-skin contact at all.



2. What do you think there is a appropriate amount of time for a divorce parent to date before introducing the kids to the "new" "special" person in their life?



I can only comment on this from observation. I think kids, as resilient as they may seem, should be protected from the dating scene until something serious is going on. Don’t wait until you are engaged again, but don’t bring by every guy/girl you date. Kids want to make attachments, they want a family, they want stability. Plus, they need to see their parents as being strong and independent, not reliant on the social acceptance of their latest date for their self-esteem. And PLEASE, what ever you do, don’t go crying to your kids if you get dumped, or if you reject sleeping with someone. That is for the adults to deal with. Not the kids..



3. Which ONE do you wish you had more of in bed... romance, experimentation or foreplay?



Easy call, experimentation. She doesn’t like romance, foreplay is OK but over rated, I would like a wider variety of play. Silk scarf bondage, blindfolds, more oils and lubes, and maybe a little videotaping…



4. What do you thinks makes a kiss great?



The anticipation, the firm pressure of someone hungry to respond, the tentative touching of tongues as it escalates from romantic to passionate. A little bit of teeth, well deployed tongues,, and someone who can breath through their nose…



5. Describe your sex life in two words.



Improving. Needed.



Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell....



Bringing C to orgasm in her dorm room while she was talking to her mom on the phone.

Having all of the Jacuzzi bubbles stop just when V slipped off her bikini bottoms

My wife hitting her head on the shower wall the first night we were married.

Finishing a long run and seeing J naked after her shower. And her not covering up.

Getting flashed in the break room by D while her husband was in the building.

I have lots of good memories about my sex life. I just wish I had more of a sex life to pick from..

Sunday, February 1, 2009

January Summary

Truly Depressing.

Had sex three times, just 3.
One hand job in the shower
One hand job in the bed

And she wonders why I'm in a bad mood all the time.

A54