Halloween Foolishness

OK OK OK OK.... i can't believe I forgot to post this story.

I am SUCH a dork.

OK, so I get off the bus a few stops early to walk and stretch my legs before getting behind my desk for the day.  I'm walking down the street when 3 pirates and a joker come around the corner.  Two of them are cute blonde pirates, BTW.  So, being the nice guy that I am, I compliment them on their costumes and ask them where they work.  They tell me that they don't work together, but they go to school together.  Since they are walking away from the college campus in our neighborhood I ask them where....

WHAM!!

I walk straight in to a tree.

And it's not a glancing blow, it's a full speed trunk-to-the-chest hit that luckily missed my face by an inch.  It takes a few seconds to even realize what happened, but as I regain my bearings and walk to catch up with them I hear laghter from the parking attendant who saw the whole thing.

He's just laughing his ass off at the goob who's trying to be so cool with the cute pirates that he walks straight in to a freaking tree!!

I said my goodbyes and laughed at myself all the way to work.

And, to O, who asked about non-slutty outfits, these are a perfect example.  Both girls were really cute, their blouses were open, but just enough, the outfits covered what needed to be covered, yet they were very sexy.

So, that is my Halloween Story.  Have a fun night everyone!!!

Just too busy...

Too busy to play
too busy to write
too busy to put together a costume
too busy to be funny and witty in a post
too busy to pee, almost
Too busy to find a lousy graphic for this oh, so boring post.

With it being the last day of the month, I was hoping to say something about Halloween,
so we'll just put out the bullets

• I love halloween.
• I have sewn three costumes of my own
• I eat less candy with each passing year
• It still sucks to work it all off at the gym
• Teacher wore a small, thin, tight pumpkin shirt at boot camp today.  Looked great.
• Why are all the female costumes the "slutty" version of boring stuff?
• I'm not complaining, just wondering
• As a Christian, I have no problems with Halloween, evil is where you put it.
• I'm having dinner with 5 other families, 
• I want one wife naked
• I want one to give me a job
• I want 2 of them to realize they should dress the way they do, it's just not working any more
• I want one of them to pick a different party.
• My oldest girl want's to go off with her friends tonight, I'm happy for her, sad for me.
• My son is old enough to be brave as he goes to the "scary houses", and he likes it.
• My wife looked really hot at our church Fall festival
• So did her best friend.  I was distracted all night.
• The Wonder Woman girl was also amazing.
• I want my costume make up done by a professional some year
• I have no idea how do fix a problem in a report I'm working on at work.
• I have to finish it soon so i can leave early to go get ready for tonight.

Have a happy Halloween!!!

Google RAGE! (Updated)

Google Reader just lost everything.  All of you are gone!  I had 29 subscriptions in my reader list and now they are gone, Every one.  SHIT.  DOUBLE SHIT!  SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!

I have no idea what happened, all I did was log in this morning to write a happy little thought and when I clicked over to check on you all, you were GONE!!! WTF GOOGLE???

Some, but not all, are on my blog roll, but I read a lot of people that don't make that list (sorry) and it drives me freaking crazy!!!

So, if you don't hear from me for a while in comments, it's because I've lost your link and will be rebuilding over the next few days.  Aaaaagh.

What a crappy way to start the day.  I hope my run goes better.  Anyone care to join me?  It's only 10K, but it's pretty flat.   And then we are carving pumpkins. 

Damm you blogger.  I wanted a better wake-up call.

That being said, if you want to get me your blog link and you don't see yourself on my blog roll, please send it to me either in comments or in an e-mail.  I miss you already.

OK, I don't know what's going on, but now they are all back.  Aaaaaagh!!!

But I am glad they are back

FFF - 10/29 - Obscure, Gloomy, Dark

Happy Halloween! Your challenge for this Friday, 10-28-11, is to use the picture above to write a spooky flash fiction of 80-120 words. I would also like you to please use this H.P. Lovecraft word in your submission:
"...tenebrous..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obscure

She held her hands high, stretching the wings that had been expertly grafted in to her skin.  It had taken her months of research in dusty bookstores and Wiccan enclaves to unearth the tenebrous rites that made her transformation possible, and even longer to find a practitioner who would take her money.  Now she was free to search for prey.  Her blood warmed and her skin tightened and puckered, before flight.  She would feast often and drink deeply this Halloween.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Gloomy

“But Dad!” she stomped her feet and threw herself up against the pillar with all the drama she could muster, “all of the cool kids are going as vampires!  Why can’t I?”

“First,” he looked at her, trying not to look at her developing form, “no daughter of mine is going to a party with a crowd of tenebrous vampires, and certainly not in that get-up.”  He tried not to stare at her jet black hair, her chest, her hips, and her leather bodice.

“I’m asking mom!”

“Ginny! “  He yelled, “I already told her she can’t go out like that!”

“Dear,” she replied, “Lilly’s 18 now, and it’s just a party.”

Harry growled.  “Who thought up Topless Twilight anyway?”

++++++++++++++++++++++

Dark

She couldn’t shake the feeling, so she just stood still, not even able to take comfort from the sound of her heart that no longer beat within her chest.  She never got used to silence of her own body.  So much death, stillness, a life barren of life itself, a mockery of the living.  “Tenebrous” That was the word Lovecraft used as he sank his teeth into her neck so many years ago, and he was right, for that was the last sunrise she had ever seen.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Commentary to follow. I have to hurry and meet my carpool now.

OK - As promised (even though I think only 1-2 people have read this yet) I'll add a little commentary  The word tenebrous was a new word, and that's always fun, though it makes it awkward to use.  It doesn't roll off the tongue comfortable, it's like wearing a new suit to an interview, it's the right thing to do, it's fitting, yet everyone knows it was just put on for the day and that it isn't really you.  Obscure, gloomy, and dark are the clothes you put on every day, they are a bit worn, a little to familiar, and have shown up in too many family pictures, but they fit and look good enough.

I liked the picture and the petulant teen in Gloomy came to mind first.  For those of you who are familiar with the names, you'll get the joke, for those who aren't, let me tell you.  Harry Potter married Ginny Weasely and had a daughter Lilly, named after Harry's mother.  Among teenage girls 15 - 19 there is great debate, and some disturbingly deep-seated acrimony between Harry Potter fans and Twilight fans.  Having Harry's daughter go to a "Topless Twilight" party made me laugh, so I wrote it.

I liked the others as well, they are darker and more thoughtful.  Vampiric immortality has been dealt with more lately, dispelling the myth that living forever, at least in human form, is an ideal.  We've all lived too long, maybe its in a job we should have quit, a marriage we should have left, or a degree program that just wasn't going anywhere.  We like stability, the myth of stasis, of "just staying put."  But that's not life.  Life is change and decay and rebirth and growth.  All vampires get to do is hunt.  There world is dark, there is no life, and I tried to capture that in my 120 words.

Have a great day.  There is a long list of participants this week so close the door, tell people you are on a conference call, and start reading!

News that caught my eye.

OK, this is a bit of a filler post (TOTALLY) but I still think the links are interesting (No Porn, sorry)


As the father of a little boy who might just do this, I loved the hero of this story.  He noticed what was going on and took action.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10166217

And....

I love robots!!
Soccer Bots - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14103537
HomeBots - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14134625

On Death (my thoughts, exactly)
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/10/opinion/sunday/10als.html?ref=general&src=me&pagewanted=all


Great Sports Quotes
http://www.sportstvjobs.com/resources/dumbest-sports-quotes.html

More reviews...

OK, it's dangerous to leave me along too long at home, but hey, you get the benefit.

http://www.redtube.com/71625

I'm sure they thought the "young girl gets seduced" motif hadn't been done quite enough, so they hired a young-looking actress to play the "reluctant good girl."  But she did too good a job and she really looks like the, "Hey, I think I'm being raped here" girl.  In the 11th minute, she's handed a dildo that she looks at as if it were a rattlesnake.  The older woman keeps saying, "you are totally in control" while ignoring every bit of body language the younger girl can muster without screaming "Stop!"  Every step of the way it's just creepy.  It's not until 17:30 that she even seems to find any enjoyment as the older woman goes down on her.  And even as she returns the favor, she looks detached, even as the older one moans and groans in complete disproportion to the action we can see.  The final few minutes is pretty good though.  :-) 

When I see clips like these, I wonder, again, about the "real" story behind some of the actresses.  I have no doubts that some women are in porn for all the wrong reasons, reasons I won't list here.   But when I see women who look as if they would rather be getting grilled by the IRS (that's not a fetish is it?) than kiss their co-star, I wonder.  But don't the directors see it?  Do they think that the "ick" factor cranks up the arousal for enough viewers to make it worth turning a majority off?  This wasn't presented as a fetish video where the pain/humiliation/subjugation was the major draw, it was a standard seduction scene with an age difference to make it a little different.  It had, as another down side, horrible set-up.  Why can't editors actually watch the final product before it goes out? 

I think I'm a pretty typical porn consumer.  I like beautiful people doing sexy things and I don't want to feel like I'm contributing to institutionalized rape.  Some anti-porn activists say that all porn is rape, because by definition, it is coerced.  The coercion may be economic need, addiction driven, the result of abuse, or the lack of opportunity for women in the corporate world, and I'm sure some of it is, but not all of it.

To say that women in porn are all victims does a great disservice to all women.  It says that women can't make free choices, that they lack the strength of will or intellect to weigh the pros and cons of a career in porn, and by extension, in any career.  There is a natural reflex in many people to protect people, even when it's from themselves.  Many activists are probably sincere in their belief that they are helping, but they do so at the risk of eliminating choice from the women they are trying to help.

Now, does this argument fall down in the case of Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse?  Given unlimited resources ($$), time, and opportunity, they made choices that landed them in jail, and, for Ms. Winehouse, the morgue.  Ironically, or perhaps on purpose, Ms. Lohan is now serving time in the morgue, hopefully this will make her realize she doesn't want to be there permanently.  Should we take more of their freedom away to save them from themselves?  Should this be done by the courts? the family? their employer?  I hope Lindsay pulls out of this because she can be so beautiful, smart, and funny, but free choice is a cruel double-edged sword.

OK, but back to this clip.  What choices does the actress make to get herself into, or out of, this situation?  Does she have any at the point of the camera's rolling?  Does she think she has options?  Let me repeat that, Does she THINK she has options or has the situation gotten out of hand and she feels trapped? 

I know that she's not a 1st time actress.  She's been in lots of films. Maybe she's a really good actress after all, but all I know is that the discomfort she showed felt very real, and made me uncomfortable enough to write about if for far too long.  Maybe that's a sign.  And BTW, she is a lot less reluctant in this one.

Should a simple porn clip on a Thursday afternoon make me think so much?

OK, Confess...

OK, someone has been reading.  If you are a private eye, please let me know...
Remember, this entire blog is entirely fiction.

If you don't believe that,

I'll get you in touch with my attorney.

If it was a wonderful follower just getting caught up on my exciting life, I hope you enjoyed it!

a reason to like hockey

Here are some really good reasons to like Hockey.  OK, I hope I don't offend all of my hocky-loving Canadian friends, but well, I think it's too late for that.  Hockey's nice and all, but can't they control the fighting a little bit?


My computer has been doing this all afternoon. I hope to have something worthwhile up soon.



Sao Paulo Fashion Week -Where the contents of the annual, and justly famous, SI Bathing Suit issue are stored during the summer.

TMI Tuesday - Not related

1. Name 5 things you did more of before social networking (facebook, myspace, twitter, etc.)?

• Read
• Sleep
• Work at work
• Download porn
• Did I say work?
• For the record, I don't do any "social networking."  No FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter for me.  I have a Twitter account but nothing to say.  Facebook's privacy issues give me both the heebies and the jeebies, so no thank you, besides, my life is not that exciting and it's none of your business who I had at lunch (or had lunch with).  It's not that I'm a virgin in these areas, I've just found them pointless.  Not that they are evil time-sucking hook-up monstors, no, it's just that I have very specific parts of my life that are on a strictly "need to know" basis, and the world does not "need to know."

2. Your house is on fire, what do you grab as you run out?

• Besides my kids?
• I grab my phone from my night stand and the computer in the office on the left which has ALL the pictures on it, my wife starts grabbing 20 years worth of pre-digital scrapbooks, and, if the garage isn't on fire already, I grab the fire safe with our vital documents in it.  And a cool drink.  I hate watching fires and being thirsty.

3. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

• Both, and it's killing me.

a. What time did you go to bed last night?

• 12:05 am, this morning

b. What time did you wake up today?

• 4:45 AM, but I'm not complaining.  My wife had to wake up early so we knocked out a quick one before she hit the shower and I took off to the gym.
• I don't sleep enough by about 3 hours a night.  It started in high school when I had to be on the field and ready for marching band at 6:15 am and I had a major bout of insomnia at the same time.  I'd be up until 1-2 playing "Missle Command" on my Atari 64.  If you put it on the "Easy" setting you can play for hours.

4. A kid comes up to you and kicks you in the shin, what do you do?

• A solid punch right in the middle of the forehead.  Knock.....Him......Out! 
  And before anyone complains, remember, they started it.

5. What three things do you never leave the house without?

• My keys
• My phone
• An impending sense of doom

Bonus: Name a place that you visited last week that you’ve never visited before. Briefly tell us about the visit.

• I went to a Jack in the Box in San Dimas, CA after my daughter's track meet.  She ran very well and wanted an ice cream.  I had been very good on my "diet" until that point, so I shared her milkshake with her and gave her some of my cookie, and, of course, we both ate the fries.

A Monday Funny

This guy was pretty funny.  I never heard of him before, but I was searching for "Funny math songs."  Yeah, I know, there aren't many.

I love his Salvador Dali and Al Gore jokes, listen carefully to the song....

Have a GREAT Monday

FFF - Just Listen

Your challenge for this Friday, 10-21-11, is to use this picture to write a flash fiction of 38-98 words. I would also like you to please use this phrase in your submission:  "...pained delight..."

My schedule has been an odd mix of hectic (it’s phase two of audit season) and dead (afternoons between meetings when I should be working but the horrible phase one has got me a little wiped out).  Home has been a blur of homework before quarter exams, a huge consignment sale where we washed, tagged and hung over 200 items of clothing for sale, and a whole bunch of PTA and church stuff. 

This is the long way around to explaining that I wrote this week’s FFF pieces on the bus, going home in the dark, as my really bright screen kept the nice young lady next to me awake (well, awake until she started snoring…)

With bad traffic, I had plenty of time to come up with several bad ideas, which were deleted, until the four you have today coalesced out of the evening mist and settled upon my keyboard like slightly contaminated dew on an industrial parking lot.

I closed my laptop, happy with the ride and the writing.  As I stuck it (my laptop, you dirty minded letch, nothing euphemistic there) in my bag, I realized that not once did I use the required phrase anywhere.  I remembered the 38-word minimum, and used it twice, but the words totally escaped me. 

Therefore, it is with pained delight, that I give you this week’s FFF

They all had their turn, one after another, some tender, some hard, some angry, some painfully shy, but, they all had their turn. 

Later, she brushed off the guard as she stood back stage, “I’m with the band.”  (38 words)

 

She did as she was told, folding her clothes and stacking them by the door of the darkened room.  The spotlight illuminated the headset on the carpet.  She walked over and sat down, put them on, and waited.  What would it be? Music? Instructions? Discipline? Pain? Release? Love or Judgment? Acceptance?  His voice held them all and her ears gladly listened.  (61 words)

 

“I flew all the way here for this?”  She flung the headset into the dark corners of the room when she realized he was not there.  “Where are you?” she screamed.

“You knew the plan,” he said, disembodied.

“I know.” She picked up the sat down, dejected, and held the headphones in her hand.  “I just hoped for more.”

“Listen”, he said

She slipped on the twin speakers and his voice filled her head with ideas.

After, she pulled them off her head and laid breathing, exhausted, played spent, tender.

“What’s next?” She sighed.

“A change of plans”

(98  words)

The puppy heard the bell and leapt up, hungry, drooling profusely.

 The research assistant shook her head, “Stupid dog.”

Later, as she plugged in and listened to his voice mail, she realized she owed the dog an apology. (38 words)

And, if you haven’t figured it out by now, you should be playing along with us!!!

 I have to mention that I loved the tight word count this time, absolutely loved it, I hope did too.

Perspective

A wonderful friend of mine sent me this picture as she was in a pensive mood.

But all I could think of was, "Hey, I think I can see my house...."

TMI - Getting to know you

1. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”…What is it that you will show me?
I’ll show you my old running shoes, my clean bill of health, my latest audit results.  I’ve become a huge fan of web-cams but I don’t send pictures, and despite some flattering encouragement, have nothing on OHNT.

2. What was the last thing you regret buying?Frozen lasagna at the store, it just wasn’t very good.  Big-ticket items?  I hate my BBQ.  It always flares up no matter how often I clean it, and unless I’m cooking on super low, everything burns.  I know part of that is “user error” but I just hate it.  I also have a pair of ben-wa style balls in my dresser drawer that I haven’t given to my wife yet, I don’t think she’ll like them, but I like the idea of her liking them, so I bought them.


3. How happy are you? 1 = not happy at all  to  5 = very happyTough question. 
Last night in bed and I had my wife laughing hysterically at my witty remarks, a 5. 
The next day as we argued over my daughter’s homework load and school work, a 2,
At the gym this morning when I saw my favorite instructor and knew a secret, a 4+
Getting long hug from my friend over lunch, a 5+
Having hot chocolate with a friend, a 5, then a 2, then a 4, then a 3, then a 5, I think.
Playing with my boy and hearing him giggle, a 6
Hearing a beautiful solo at church, a 4
Thinking about the singer’s really (no seriously, REALLY) hot younger sister, a 5
Feeling guilty about said thoughts, a 2
Seeing my friends go through pain at home, a 1
Knowing that I really can’t help them much from afar, ½

What the average?  Most of the time, when I just accept the life I have and pull out the moments that make me happy, I’m a 4+.  When I have too much “thinking time” on my hands, a 2


4. Last night, what did you go to bed thinking about?

How cute my wife is when she snores
How much my kids bug me when they don’t get their homework done and still ask to watch TV at 8:45 when bedtime is 9:00
Just what might happen when I see my admin again.
About my admin and her friends driving home last night after a party where I knew they had been drinking, even though they were supposed to have a designated driver (they are fine)
Kicking myself for not getting my Sunday Sacrilege post out and wondering if I’d have anything for Monday (I didn’t)


5. Tell us something that made you happy this past week or made you think, “that’s cool!”
Things that are cool? 
My son’s reading has taken a giant leap.
I saw a really cool web video about slow motion photography that I can’t find

Happy?
I had a great time at the gym today (I’m going to blog about it sometime this week)
My scale said very happy things to me for 2 days (and then sad again)
The weather is beautiful here today
My brother’s ex-wife is 800 miles away


Bonus: What is your favorite mark of punctuation? Why?

I love the ellipses… it just seems to be open to whatever is next.

Questions (?) are good because I love hearing the answers.

Commas make me pause and think, which is usually dangerous.

I only use a period very 4 weeks or so, and even then, they are a pain.

Semi-colons are just wimps; either start a new sentence or don’t, but don’t interrupt me.

I get my colons checked annually.

And I love exclamation points because they are so exciting and make me feel like I’m writing really loudly and that people will finally pay attention!!!  Hello!!!  Helllllooooo!!!!!

Down on the farm...

I didn't grow up on a farm, but my best friend up the road lived on one, can I can promise you that his sister never looked like this.

Porn done right

When porn is done right, it can be very very good.

http://www.redtube.com/73515

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But when it's bad, it's just tragic.

Same beautiful red-head, wonderful girl/girl love, but bad lighting, bad music, and a WTF opening shot ruin the whole thing.  Oh yeah, and the voice overs are awful!  OK, this is just too funny, I'm kind of fast forwarding through this since I have a meeting in 10 minutes, but at the 7:30 mark, the lighting changes, a new girl appears, and it's totally different, but still bad, really bad, with some odd 1/2-assed attempt at a foot fetish.  This should have been sooo much hotter.

http://www.redtube.com/2520

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, here is some more bad porn.  It's bad beyond description.  horrible dialog, even less logic than usual, and awful sound.

http://www.redtube.com/11943 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There really is no end to the bad stuff.....  http://www.redtube.com/20614

Just go watch the first clip again.

FFF - Calm

80-112
"calm"

Shhhhh.

Why can't….

Be quiet, please.

I don’t understa…

SMACK!  Her cheek stung as his hand flew.

I said don’t move.

Yes Sir.

Come on now, you are ruining the illusion, paintings can’t cry, and stop breathing so heavy, I can see your breasts moving.

She breathed in and out and felt her blood cool and her back soften.  She held the pose one last time. Leaving him would be easier than she thought. 

She knelt on the had floor, wishing they had carpet, like in the old days, but no one did anymore, except the Imams.

She slowed her heart rate, smelled the food, and turned the sound of the crowd turn into music as she let her mind drift to later.  She tried to suppress a smile, later she would be allowed to move.

She felt the frame around her and let it define her world.  For the next two hours she was beauty, presented, displayed, and appreciated.  Men and women gazed at her, longed for her, and smiled; some even reached out, but stopped, fearing reprisals. 

“Go ahead, “she thought, “ban brushes and canvas and thought, art cannot be stopped”

He had her step through the frame and kneel.   She giggled with anticipation and he told her that paintings can’t laugh or move.  She felt herself swelling.  She brought her breathing down, grateful for her training in yoga.  He adjusted the lighting and the frame and the cameras until they were ready for the first painter.  Making the highest bid got him his first choice, and he had wanted a fresh canvas.  He stepped through the frame and stood over her as the shutter chorus clicked,   His paint was hot on her cheeks and she grinned widely.   The next painter approached and covered her neck, then leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.  More painters followed with all sorts of brushes and glorious warm paint.  Others dipped in and pulled out her paint to cover some unattended corner of the canvas, some reached inside themselves to do the same.  She did not mind.  It was all for art.

No long commentary today, just a thanks to all who did, will, or wanted to drop by.  If you didn’t play this week, join in as next time!

at home

I am working from home today so I can go to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.  After that it’s lunch with the wife and then to my son’s school for an event. After that, well, then it’s time for my daughter’s next X-Country meet and then homework after that for her chemistry test on Friday.  Thank goodness, the math test was postponed or today would be really busy.    J

Working from home is nice but I have very little privacy and I have to be very careful when I’m checking out Tumblr or even reading blogs…  Some of you put up naughty pictures, shame on you.  Plus, it’s difficult to explain why reading work e-mails gave me a wet spot, or why I suddenly have to take a shower.

I started the day off with teaching my class at the gym.  It was an 80’s mix with some trance thrown in and I had 23 in class which was a big improvement over the 11 I had last week.  I almost decided to drop this class but a big turnout always makes me feel better, and two of my favorite people said they liked the music, which helps.  The class was well attended in the right way too, angry brunette was there, as usual with a scowl on her face, but busty blonde was back for her 2^nd week, cute Latina was on the front row and working really hard, young mom was there and HCWDB was there too.  We just need to get rid of the BF.

I love having good looking people in my class, but I actually get a bigger kick out of the old guys and grandmas.  They are so nice afterwards and the work so hard for being over 70+ in a couple of cases, and though they don’t do everything I call out, they are there ever week and always seem to be smiling. 

Oh, on the off chance you were wondering, the Dr.’s appointment isn’t a big deal, it’s just one of those “boy are you getting old” appointments for a little maintenance work.   I just hope they warm up the probe this time.

Oh, and the worst thing about working from home on a Thursday?  No time to work on FFF, but I’ll have something ready, something… Calm…. And if you haven’t started yours yet, head over to Panser’s place and see what’s cooking.

Su

Sunday Sacrelige

Last week we read our scriptures, this week we say our prayers.

 

Maybe next week we will see the difference between prayer,

and worship.

Private Party

I went bowling the other day.

It was a private party for my daughter's friend

Her mom and I have become good friends

and she's really sexy.  Not in the traditional Playboy mold

but she's the hot blond who can go camping, running,

and kill you in the weight room.

She's funny

nice

sweet

has a great rack, a wonderful smile, and a great family.

I've seen her in medical scrubs, jeans a tight t-shirt, a business suit, and running shorts

and she looks great in every one.

but this picture? 

Well, it got me to thinking thoughts I shouldn't be thinking.

TMI - 5 things

This week’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by An Optimistic Virgin. Read her Have and Have Not for inspiration and HAVE FUN creating yours.

List five (5) things you have done that other people probably have not done.

1. Gone Skydiving
2. Fucked my Wife
3. Masturbated to orgasm in a Cathedral
4. Made out with a lesbian while her girlfriend pounded on my car windows
5. Gone to church every Sunday most of my life (I can't remember ever missing 3 services in a row)  Now, granted, millions of people have done this, just not too many of my readers....

List five (5) things you have not done that other people probably have done.

1. Had sex (intercourse) outsite my marriage
2. Had a threesome, foursome, or moresome
3. Gone down on my wife during her period.
4. Been tied up or tied up someone else (boy, do I want to check this one off the list)
5. Seen my ex-girlfriend naked...

Bonus: What is the oddest thing that you’ve ever seen?

Sexually?  I've seen some pictures that I'd like to "un-see."  In person?  I haven't see too much in the way of "odd."  I did walk past a couple of homeless people having sex in a tent once, that was disturbing, but I'm sure they thought they were well hidden, even though they were only a few feet off the path.

Bonus, Bonus: What is the oddest, kinkiest, or craziest thing you have ever done?

LOL.... there are a lot of "experimental" moments when I was young and hormonal and discovering ways to get my rocks off in private.  Most of them are too embarrasing for words, but a few involved moulding clay, my mom's vibrator, a quiet place in the woods behind my house, or a step ladder.  Not all at the same time mind you.

I've mentioned this a couple of times, but in terms of "odd", I was the last make-out session for a friend before her wedding, the last before a friend joined a religious sect that kind of frowned on getting orgasms in the park under the slide from a friend, I've made out in the ocean (being in cold water does not equal being "wet" and salt water stings!!!)

I made a GF cum while she was talking on the phone to her mom, I was busted by a cop jerking off in a car while I waited for a friend's delayed flight to get to the airport, oooh, the list is long and embarrasing, so i'll just leave it there for now.  Sometimes TMI is TMI..

A great picture...

I found this amazing picture on a blog I've just discovered....

The picture just makes my heart skip a beat.

The red beads on the bed, the beads down her back and through her legs, the color, the pale skin, the total impact is amazing.  I love little gems like this.

To read or to write?

Monday's are always a challenge for me.  Do I read to get caught up with all of my wonderful blogger friends, or do I write something to do my share of entertaining...  Sundays are a family day with little privacy to write, and Saturday's, well, I'm outside or doing homework, or getting ready for Monday, so it's really a question of Monday morning. 

Today I went to the gym but skipped out early because our boot camp instructor had put together a really boring class, and had us doing all sorts of jumping jacks and hopping so my knee was killing me.  When I got to the locker room, I couldn't get my lock open so I went to the front desk and asked for the bolt cutters.  The idiot  (personal traininer enlisted to run the desk) said they didn't have any, so I found the janitor and did my best mime of cutting off a lock and he found them in the drawer next to the idiot's kneed at the front desk.   And yes, my combination was 17-35-5, not 15-35-5, so there is $6 wasted.

When I got to my office I plugged in, opened my breakfast, and started in on Tumblr and reading 26 new blogger posts.  You people keep me busy.  I found a couple of new tumblrs that were fun but too  hard core to add to my daily list, but i've reblogged a few.  So now it's time to go to work.  One tumblr didn't have any "re-blog" buttons so I just pulled a few pictures and added them here.

But, I did get through all of my blogger posts, and a HUGE shout out to my friend Cande for being so very very brave today.....

Have a great Monday!

Yeah for mirrors!!!

It's just that kind of day.

Isn't she just so amazingly cute?

I love the brunette's smile....

Well, this one is just sexy.

Sunda Sacrilege - DADT

So, do you think DADT (kiss) is going to get struck down?

I don't know (kiss), what do you think?

I think (kiss, giggle), I should.  I mean, really (giggle), they are fighting to protect us.

You are (tongue) absolutely right Sister Mary (grope).  But don't you (tongue....)

But don't you think (gasp!!) that it's detrimental to troop morale?

I'm ambivelant Sister Margaret (touch, pause, more touching).  Where are your panties?

(big giggle) I just (moannnnn) think that troop morale and unit (oh fuck) cohesion trump individual rights

But how can we deny basic (squishy wet sounds) civil rights to the men and women (breathing) who are fighting protect those basic (kiss, kiss) rights?

I'm con...(fuck yes......) flicted (gasp) on that (OH FUCK!) same issue...

I'm sorry (cum for me)...  Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this.

You're right, politics and religion don't mix......

Pretty women doing sexy things

A friend of mine has been sending me links that she likes. 

She has wonderful taste.

http://www.redtube.com/65414

http://www.redtube.com/60889

http://www.redtube.com/30675

And these may be repeats... Sorry if they are...

sybian
http://www.youporn.com/watch/325594/capri-georgia-ride-the-sybian/?from=related3&al=2&from_id=294309&pos=2

ginger (just pictures) http://coedmagazine.com/2010/12/09/is-alyssa-campanella-the-worlds-sexiest-ginger/

And, for those of you who follow me for Science news, here are some cool pictures of the sun:  http://news.discovery.com/space/photos-solar-dynamics-observatory-nasa-sdo-110809.html

OK, and one more...
http://www.redtube.com/48628

Many critics of porn cite the "objectification" of women.  I'm not arguing with that, but women in porn are the stars, they have names, they have personalities, in this clip, as beautiful as it is (and she is very pretty), all the male is, is a penis.  No face, no sound, no personality, he's just a cock to be used by her for her pleasure.  This doesn't mean that she's a fully fleshed out Jane Austin character, but he's just a dildo.

FFF 10-7 - Coffee Talk

78-208
Enthusiastically

 Coffee Talk:  ‘So there I was, a young girl, a virgin mind you, in the middle of New York City, the fucking Big Apple itself and not a penny to my name.  Well, not quite penniless, I had a few Traveler’s Checks with me, I mean really, who leaves home without them, but anyway I was almost penniless, had no where to stay.  I had my brother’s ratty army backpack with a few pair of clean underwear, 2 pairs of pants, maybe four shirts, maybe five, anyway, I have no change to call anyone, right, so I go into this little electronics shop, you know the kind, right? Like the ones near Time Square that have a million “Big Sale” signs in the front windows, the cheap starburst kinds with the garish orange, oh God how I hare orange always did.  Where was I? That’s right, Time’s Square, New York, the mother-fucking Big Apple itself, when I find myself in this little shop that sold the cheapest stereos and cameras known to man and the guy behind the counter won’t cash my Traveler’s Check so I can make a phone call.  “Fuck you” he says, “Fuck YOU!” I says, and I’m about to leave when this Adonis, this drop-dead-panties-wet-get-me-to-the-church-on-time Adonis walks out and tells his dad to call down.  Well! He won’t break my $20-mother-Effing check either, but he tells me he’ll do me one better.  He takes me up stairs to his apartment, lets me use his phone to call Mary, not Aunt Mary, but the other Mary, Belinda’s Mary, not Tony’s Mary, and then he spins me around, kisses me, strips me naked, fucks the living shit out of me. ME!  Of all people!  A virgin one minute and a New York slut the next.  He pulls me to his lap and slides that monster cock of his deep inside and goes at it.  I respond, who knew? Right, me, yeah, who knew I’d spread my virgin thighs so enthusiastically, but there I was, straddling this Adonis, this Greek God, right here.”  She pats the couch affectionately, “This is where you were conceived.”  She sighs as the memory fades, “Does that answer your question?” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Audition:

What do you think?

Oh fuck.

Is that good?

Shut up

 I won’t say a word; he’s cute though, right?

Yea, he’s…..ooooohhhhhh

What?

He’s FINE, yes, oh fuck,

OK, I mean he’s cute, not like that last guy, Ick, did you see his foreskin?

SHUT UP!

Is he worth $500?  Not to be cheaps…

Aaaaaannnnghhhh

Are you OK?

OH FUCK!!

It’s your sister’s bachelorette party. I have no idea how to pick a stripper.

He’ll do just fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 The Couch:
Scene:  Therapist’s office with couch.  Man and woman in coitus, 2^nd woman adjacent.

Wife:                     I know the theory sexual surrogacy, that doesn’t mean I like it.

Doctor:                 Why does it bother you? 

Wife:                     WTF Why?  Because he’s fucking you right in front of me.

Doctor:                 That bothers you?

Wife:                     Yes, it bothers me. 

Doctor:                 You wanted him to be a better lover.

Wife:                     But with me, not you.

Doctor:                 He can’t get hard with you, isn’t that what brought you in?

Wife:                     I thought you were just going to give him a pill or something

Doctor:                 I’m a holistic healer.

Wife:                     What are you doing now?

Doctor:                 I’m showing him how to stimulate my clit.

                                Do you see how wet that makes me George?

Husband:             Gasping, uh-huh, yeah.

Wife:                     Now he’s going to want to do that to me?

Doctor:                 You job is to please him, and him you.  I think he’s very competent.

Wife:                     What does that mean?  Are you blaming this on me?

Doctor:                 All I know is that I’ve cum twice while we’ve been talking.

Wife:                     Oh great.  Has he cum yet?

Doctor:                 Not yet, he’s hard as a rock.

Wife:                     Well wrap this up, insurance only pays for an hour….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

OK, the formatting is not working and I am way over the work limit on #1, and I'm out of time to write a commentary, but I thought the picture was fun and sexy and had lost of potential, I hope I did it justice.  The one thing I do know is that this woman just would not shut up....  :-)

Have a wonderful Friday, find a reason to laugh, and go check out Panser’s site for a list of others who joined in today.

Good Bye Mr. Jobs

A great light has gone out in the universe,

A precious spark of creativitiy, of free thinking

of asking "What can we do next, that's never been done?

We, I, will miss having you around

thinking up things I can't afford

But that make me go,
"Wow, that's really cool."

RIP

Bad Back - Part 1

I was running late and yelling at the big rig in front of me to get some balls and throw the left turn.

“What are you waiting for,” I was about to lean on the horn, “an engraved invitation?” 

Finally he lumbered through the intersection and I followed in the shadow, hoping the red-light camera wouldn’t see me behind his massive trailer.  With my foot on the gas I cut the corner tight and dashed in to the parking lot ahead of him, knowing that his size would block the 2^nd half of the parking lot until the bread was unloaded into the massive wholesaler next to the gym. 

I parked and locked and ran past Katy at the front desk, giving her a smile and a wave but no conversation.  That hadn’t gone well last time and our one and only date was fading into the “bad choices” file.. 

With my locker locked and my water bottle full I ran to the aerobics room.  I liked her class, but she was the reason I showed up every Monday morning.  About 5’8” and 120 pounds of muscle, she commanded the room with the sweetest voice and a body to kill for. 

I would try and describe her but then I’d just sound like a horny lap dog, and though that may be true, I don’t want to sound like it.  I can say that from her strong calves to her perfectly shaped ass, her athletically curvy chest, and her impossibly cheery morning smile, she was stunning.

I could tell that something was wrong a few seconds in to class.  She wasn’t moving much and when she thought we were busy stretching or lunging she grimaced and held on to the stereo cabinet.  I can’t believe she made it all the way through class.  As the class filtered out, I put away her risers, step, weights, and floor mat.  When I came back over to talk to her she put her arm around my shoulders and gasped, “You have to take me home, everything hurts.”

She had thrown her back out arranging the weight rack right before class and couldn’t get anyone on the phone to replace her.  She hid the pain from most of the class, oblivious little idiots all of them, but now it was time to let go of the mask and tears came to her eyes.

She put her arm further around my neck and I lifted her off the floor, my arms under her back and behind her knees.  She was hot and sweaty just from the yelling, and her slick skin required a strong hold to keep her from slipping.  She felt good against my chest as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I took her out the side door to avoid the spectacle of the fallen aerobics teacher.  She probably could have walked but it felt better to carry her as we slipped in to the employee parking lot.....