TMI - Wine Me, Dine Me, 69 Me

This week’s TMI Tuesday is about sex and romance. Who doesn’t enjoy a little romance or the art of seduction before engaging in sex? Often times the prelude is better than the actual ‘event’.

1. You are sitting alone in a restaurant because your lunch date is late. Do you:

a) Throw something and then make out with the waiter.
“Throw Something?”  WTF?  I don’t get this one, but I have developed crushes on my waitress by the time the appetizers are served.  I made out with one of them, but not during my date where they were serving, though I was given the opportunity at a wedding reception once.  Seemed tacky.  Big mistake

b) Check to make sure he or she didn’t get into an accident, then wait patiently for two hours and use the time to compose a love song or poem.

Am I their emergency contact already?  Clean underwear and insurance forms are not my concern on a first date, but if we are connected, well, maybe I’ll call their roommate to see what’s going on.  In the day of cell phones, it’s hard to imagine that they really couldn’t call, it only takes a couple of fingers…  They are not, however, getting a poem, though I do owe a friend of mine a sonnet.

c) Send a nasty text followed up by a voice mail telling him/her that “romance is dead and so are you!”

There’s enough anger in the world already, plus, if #2 is true, I’d feel like an ass.

d) Wait for 20 minutes, and then text-message a pal to join you for lunch.

As I said in #2, I’d call the roommate….

2. What’s more important, a romantic relationship or your career?

My career choices have centered around my family.  I had the opportunity to go overseas for my job but family issues kept me close to home.  I think that was a mistake.

3. You love to role play in the bedroom, which one of these is more likely to be your kink?
a. Doctor and the naughty nurse..Is your stethoscope cold?
b. You’re the gardener, I’m the hoe.  Sounds racist
c. Persnickety principal and the wayward pupil that needs a spanking. Pedophile!!!
d. Me Tarzan, you Jane  This one might work, but she’s the one who would be grunting .
e. Scattered-brain boss and the seductive secretary.  Love this.

In reality, role-play has never worked for us, she feels silly and I get frustrated that she won’t play along.  However, fancy dress occasion such as wedding and company Christmas parties get things going.

4. When you want sex, who tends to make the first move?
a. Me! I like to go for what I want. 

Oh yeah, that’s me baby, I go right in for the kill, if I want sex, Damnit, I get sex….after a careful consideration of mood, homework loads, status of the laundry/dishes/bathrooms/office/stack of bills, and who is on Letterman, or if Desperate Housewives was new.  But Yeah baby, I get what I want.

b. It varies. Sometimes my partner/significant other/date or sometimes me.

She’s been better at it, only because I’m forcing her to “use her words.” If we happen to be in bed in the morning at the same time (I leave for the gym way too early for her) and I’m hard, she’ll reach across to “check status” and sometimes lock the door.  That’s a nice was for her to start the day.  I, on the other hand, let her sleep.  And, to her credit, she tries to keep us on schedule with “Monday night” thought that is about a 50/50 hit rate.

c. Oh definitely the other person. Even if I want it, I’m not about to admit such a thing.

Like I said, she’s getting better, but I better not wait for her.

d. I drop subtle hints hoping he/she will pick up on it.

I’ll ask if it’s “Monday night” on other days to check the mood, or we tell each other that we want to “get in bed early.”  Sometimes it works, but if I see her powering through Girl Scout e-mails or her PTA stack, I just brush my teeth and head to bed.

5. When it comes to lovemaking, select the answer that best describes you/your attitudes
a. vanilla – meets society’s middle of the road standards

I did it in the middle or the road once, in the middle of the Nevada desert with a GF, it was fantastic.  But my married life has been pretty vanilla.  We have a few toys, but now days, who doesn’t?

b. adventurous

We’ve had more sex outside lately (on an annual basis) than many people, and I’ve had sex in my Dad’s bed, and my childhood bedroom, and on the kitchen sink.  Boy were the current owner’s pissed.  J

c. kinky

Is missionary considered kinky now that double-anal/strap-on/gimp sex is considered normal?

d. trisexual – I will try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.  –Mae West

Mae West had it right, but my wife doesn’t like Mae West.

6. You want to seduce that sexy someone, what is the sweet-nothing that you’ll whisper in his/her ear?

Knowing the real you is better than any fantasy, so stop calling me Alajandro.

I’ve been thinking about you all day, I hope your husband doesn’t mind.

Of course I’ll respect you in the morning.

Hi.  I’m Advisor

Or, the classic

You finish the dishes, I’ll take out the trash and make lunches, you put his sleeper on and tuck in the girls, I’ll lock up the doors and shut down the computers, don’t forget to e-mail your mom first and remind Carol that she’s going to watch the kids tomorrow, but she can’t bring Callie over if she’s still sick and…hon?  Honey?  Are you still awake?  Ahhhh, back to RedTube……

Bonus: What’s your idea of a romantic getaway?

Easy.  Bed and breakfast about 60 miles up the freeway.  Best food ever, in the middle of nowhere.  Fantastic beds, and the location of our multiple-orgasm (for both of us) day that I still haven’t forgotten. 

Or, a drive to the spa where we both get massages from these beautiful twins who service us sexually from top to bottom, followed by a four-way with George Clooney and Stacy Keebler (keeps everyone but George and Stacy happy), this is followed by lunch on the beach and topped off by a bad movie on an over-stuffed couch were we can make love one more time and fall asleep.  But, since that’s just a dream, I’m probably asleep already.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!