TMI - Wine Me, Dine Me, 69 Me

This week’s TMI Tuesday is about sex and romance. Who doesn’t enjoy a little romance or the art of seduction before engaging in sex? Often times the prelude is better than the actual ‘event’.

1. You are sitting alone in a restaurant because your lunch date is late. Do you:

a) Throw something and then make out with the waiter.
“Throw Something?”  WTF?  I don’t get this one, but I have developed crushes on my waitress by the time the appetizers are served.  I made out with one of them, but not during my date where they were serving, though I was given the opportunity at a wedding reception once.  Seemed tacky.  Big mistake

b) Check to make sure he or she didn’t get into an accident, then wait patiently for two hours and use the time to compose a love song or poem.

Am I their emergency contact already?  Clean underwear and insurance forms are not my concern on a first date, but if we are connected, well, maybe I’ll call their roommate to see what’s going on.  In the day of cell phones, it’s hard to imagine that they really couldn’t call, it only takes a couple of fingers…  They are not, however, getting a poem, though I do owe a friend of mine a sonnet.

c) Send a nasty text followed up by a voice mail telling him/her that “romance is dead and so are you!”

There’s enough anger in the world already, plus, if #2 is true, I’d feel like an ass.

d) Wait for 20 minutes, and then text-message a pal to join you for lunch.

As I said in #2, I’d call the roommate….

2. What’s more important, a romantic relationship or your career?

My career choices have centered around my family.  I had the opportunity to go overseas for my job but family issues kept me close to home.  I think that was a mistake.

3. You love to role play in the bedroom, which one of these is more likely to be your kink?
a. Doctor and the naughty nurse..Is your stethoscope cold?
b. You’re the gardener, I’m the hoe.  Sounds racist
c. Persnickety principal and the wayward pupil that needs a spanking. Pedophile!!!
d. Me Tarzan, you Jane  This one might work, but she’s the one who would be grunting .
e. Scattered-brain boss and the seductive secretary.  Love this.

In reality, role-play has never worked for us, she feels silly and I get frustrated that she won’t play along.  However, fancy dress occasion such as wedding and company Christmas parties get things going.

4. When you want sex, who tends to make the first move?
a. Me! I like to go for what I want. 

Oh yeah, that’s me baby, I go right in for the kill, if I want sex, Damnit, I get sex….after a careful consideration of mood, homework loads, status of the laundry/dishes/bathrooms/office/stack of bills, and who is on Letterman, or if Desperate Housewives was new.  But Yeah baby, I get what I want.

b. It varies. Sometimes my partner/significant other/date or sometimes me.

She’s been better at it, only because I’m forcing her to “use her words.” If we happen to be in bed in the morning at the same time (I leave for the gym way too early for her) and I’m hard, she’ll reach across to “check status” and sometimes lock the door.  That’s a nice was for her to start the day.  I, on the other hand, let her sleep.  And, to her credit, she tries to keep us on schedule with “Monday night” thought that is about a 50/50 hit rate.

c. Oh definitely the other person. Even if I want it, I’m not about to admit such a thing.

Like I said, she’s getting better, but I better not wait for her.

d. I drop subtle hints hoping he/she will pick up on it.

I’ll ask if it’s “Monday night” on other days to check the mood, or we tell each other that we want to “get in bed early.”  Sometimes it works, but if I see her powering through Girl Scout e-mails or her PTA stack, I just brush my teeth and head to bed.

5. When it comes to lovemaking, select the answer that best describes you/your attitudes
a. vanilla – meets society’s middle of the road standards

I did it in the middle or the road once, in the middle of the Nevada desert with a GF, it was fantastic.  But my married life has been pretty vanilla.  We have a few toys, but now days, who doesn’t?

b. adventurous

We’ve had more sex outside lately (on an annual basis) than many people, and I’ve had sex in my Dad’s bed, and my childhood bedroom, and on the kitchen sink.  Boy were the current owner’s pissed.  J

c. kinky

Is missionary considered kinky now that double-anal/strap-on/gimp sex is considered normal?

d. trisexual – I will try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.  –Mae West

Mae West had it right, but my wife doesn’t like Mae West.

6. You want to seduce that sexy someone, what is the sweet-nothing that you’ll whisper in his/her ear?

Knowing the real you is better than any fantasy, so stop calling me Alajandro.

I’ve been thinking about you all day, I hope your husband doesn’t mind.

Of course I’ll respect you in the morning.

Hi.  I’m Advisor

Or, the classic

You finish the dishes, I’ll take out the trash and make lunches, you put his sleeper on and tuck in the girls, I’ll lock up the doors and shut down the computers, don’t forget to e-mail your mom first and remind Carol that she’s going to watch the kids tomorrow, but she can’t bring Callie over if she’s still sick and…hon?  Honey?  Are you still awake?  Ahhhh, back to RedTube……

Bonus: What’s your idea of a romantic getaway?

Easy.  Bed and breakfast about 60 miles up the freeway.  Best food ever, in the middle of nowhere.  Fantastic beds, and the location of our multiple-orgasm (for both of us) day that I still haven’t forgotten. 

Or, a drive to the spa where we both get massages from these beautiful twins who service us sexually from top to bottom, followed by a four-way with George Clooney and Stacy Keebler (keeps everyone but George and Stacy happy), this is followed by lunch on the beach and topped off by a bad movie on an over-stuffed couch were we can make love one more time and fall asleep.  But, since that’s just a dream, I’m probably asleep already.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Sunday Sacrilege - Things to do

Things to do this morning.

Check e-mail
Write note to friend about her latest orgasm
Check blogs
Check Twitter
Update status
Check Tumblr
Pre-heat Oven
Glance at RedTubehttp://www.redtube.com/119055 (no time really)
Wake up kids for Choir Practice
Send follow-up note on resume to friend
Let Wife sleep in
Check Skype (no one on)
Check on boy watching Power Rangers on NetFlix
Check Tumblr
Finish Sunday School Lesson
Put in Sweet Rolls
Wake up Wife
Get in Shower
Masturbate
Dress
Eat
Go To Church.

Anything else for the morning?

FFF - Play my strings

I walked in and saw her sitting on the couch, relaxed and undressed as she usually was.  The summer sun gave her skin a light sheen that dazzled me as I watched her fingers dance over the strings.  I set down my case, opened it, and began to bring it in to tune with hers.  As cliché s it was, she slowly morphed from Segoviato Mallenguena, and we began to duel.  Her fingers, lighter, slimmer, more nimble than mine, challenged me on speed, while my more powerful hands dominated her on volume and drive.  As the music intensified she sat up and leaned forward, smiling at me in joyous abandon as we joined together in in a musical climax that made no attempts to hide the sexual subtext.  Music was her foreplay, and as the last notes drifted out the patio doors we coupled, played each other's strings to perfections, and reached a crescendo of our own.

She played beautifully.  Her slim fingers danced over the nylon strings and voices from the past channeled through her fingertips. I sat on the coffee table by the couch and placed my hands on her bare skin to feel the music flow through me.  She reached the end of the concerto and tears blurred my vision. 
She had so much to teach. 

"Are you ready for your lesson?" she asked.

"Yes Mistress."  I replied.

Quickly shackled, I felt the sting of her crop and I knew she would play me as she played her guitar, with loving fingers and the ability to get the most out of each measure. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With no "official" FFF picture posted this week, MAX jumped in to get the music started.

I love any excuse to search for guitar music on YouTube, and there is so much fun stuff out there that I'm not even going to try and pull up all my favorites.

Have a great day!!!

Is happiness bad for blogging?

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on
treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

                                                         Oscar Wilde

"Nobody buys the newspaper for good news." 
                                                           Plato (or my dad, I can't remember)

I've taken almost 2 months off from work.  It's been wonderful.  I am sleeping a little more, eating better, losing a little weight, I've had sex more than expected, and I'm not blogging worth crap. 

I could write abot politics, but there are others more eloquent and passionate than I am.  I am a frustrated Republican, a closet Libertarian, a fledgling democrat, though at my core I can't accept their whole agenda.  So my political ramblings would be diffuse and dismal.  I could complain about how Romney, clearly the best businessman in the group, is blowing his chances by being just a bit clueless.  Gingritch is interesting as the angry uncle at the family christmas party, but not the guy you want talking to the russians, or, more importantly, the Iranians.  Santorum?  Well, he just comes across as an over zealous sunday school teacher who hasn't gone sweater shopping since the early 70's.  Ron Paul is a brilliant thinker, practical, anti-war, pro-liberty, a real thinking and the only independant candidate in the race, and he doesn't have a chance in hell.  Such is american politics.

In my happy (?) state I could write more about religion but that's just as polarizing as politics and i'm not ready to admit all my failings as they stand up against my background of faith.  i've talked about it enough to give the impression that I used to be a lot more devout than I am not, but not ready to make a public break with the community.  it would be devestating to my wife, my marriage, and my dad, though my brothers and sisters wouldn't care nearly as much as they would have a few years ago.  I think live makes us more forgiving as it goes on.  We see our own foilables in the mirror more clearly and judge others less harshly.  Maybe it's just self justification, butas I see others struggle, I see myelf in them and I forgive and forget more deeply and with less drama. 

i could write about IT, government compliance, and security issues, but OH MY HELL!!!  Just shoot me if I start doing that, at least on this blog. 

I could write about sex, after all, I'm having a bit of an uptick in that department.  But my love life is "nice."  There are no bruises, few toys, no whips, no +1s, no video, stills, or drawings.  We try to get to be early, we snuggle kiss, copulate, laugh a little, and fall quickly asleep, it's nice, but hardly blog-worthy.  Granted, the trampoline story was fun. 

So what do I work on/  what do I write about?  I'm not sure.  Tomorros I'll have a FFF piece, i like the challenge of short fiction though I whould be working on my Christmas story, my dragon epic, or my musical, but when there is IM and skype and blogging and blogs, those tend to fall by the wayside. 

So we'll see.  Stick with me, i can't be happy for long, after all, i'm looking for a job and that means happiness can't last forever. 

Have a wonderful Thursday, I'm going to.

Is it all fantasy?

We all have ideas on elaborate sex games, fantasy scenarios that would be fun, erotic, mind-bending, or just a little crazy to carry out.

A little bit of bondage & kidnapping play backfired on one couple in Portland Oregon

See the whole story here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Tunisian journalists were jailed, potentially for 5 years, for republishing a GQ Cover. 

Good thing Tumblr doesn't work in Tunisia..... or does it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's all I've got.....

Oh - 2 more things.

#1 - Did I tell you how much I love Skype?  I got to chat with a friend on Tuesday, she's been through a rough patch and it was wonderful to see her smiling and laughing.  You just can't get that through an "LOL" no matter what font is used.

#2 - I was asked a follow-up question about my "worst" sexual experience.  France asked, "Did you ever talk to her later in life?"

The answer is yes.  A couple of years after my brother dated her sister, I ran in to her at the mall when I was home from college.  It was awful and awkward and I asked a bunch of questions about her sister.  "She sure had some odd ideas about our time together," was all I really said.  Michelle knew what I as talking about and quickly changed the subject.  So, did I see her?  Yes.  Did we get any resolution?  No.  I want to think that she knew her accusations were untrue and that she felt bad for saying them.  What I hate to think, is that she felt they were true (even though no intercourse was involved) and that I did something hurtful.

I think we all leave behind a trail of pain we don't know about.  We slight a friend who never recovers, we push to hard and hurt their feelings, we make a partner feel bad without even knowing it, and then we do something mean just to be mean and we blame the moon, the beer, the bad day, or just say "Fuck it, Why do I have to be nice all the time?"  Maybe hell will be seeing all of those moments on a loop until we understand their pain, and maybe heaven will come when we get to be forgiven.

TMI - Inspiration

1. List ONE word to describe your last sexual encounter.

Strong - 

2. Can you recall your worst sexual experience? Why was it so awful? Did you do anything at the time to try to make it better?  Inspiration: http://husbandtwomindssexually.blogspot.com

There are experiences that are bad at the time, and others that are bad only in retrospect.  I've made bad decisions about who to be involved with, but the sex itself was good.  I've been with women who had no business being sexually active, others who were so far ahead of me that I felt like the slow kid in special ed.  Sex within marriage is in a whole different category of good and bad.  The worse when I was dating was with Michelle at the park.  We didn't have sex, just teenage dry humping and lots of touching.  I thought things were going fine, she certainly gave me that impression, but after I came she freaked out.  I was her first BF to cum with her and she didn't know how to handle it.  Years later my brother dated her little sister.  He came home from a date and asked me if I had raped her when we were dating.  It crushed me.  We were young, inexperienced, I wasn't the most aware kid having been raised in a very sheltered home.  It was bad at the time because of her reaction, it was worse when I realized how she remembered it.  

At the worst of my marriage issues, we were getting started with sex, I knelt in front of her to kiss her thighs, but when I looked up, she was in tears.  She just walked out of the room.  We didn't touch each other for days afterwards.  


3. Do you fuck outside the box?
Inspiration: http://hausofmm.blogspot.com/2011/04/fucking-outside-box.html?
We all have a laundry list of things–features, demographic characteristics, etc. that we like and/prefer in a sexual partner. Do you ever deviate from that list? Give an example.

This is a bad question for a reluctantly monogamous married guy. My on-line playmates, however, show wonderful diversity over the years, from slim to curvy, domestic, imported, highly educated, creative, and all of them exciting. 

4. Do you blend BDSM in to your relationship? If yes, just in the bedroom or in other areas of your life? Explain.

ha ha... ha ha ha.... HA HA HA HA...

5. Does the thought of your partner/significant other having sex with another person turn you on? Would you want to watch the act? Would you like to join in?

Yes, and Yes.  For years I hoped my wife was having an affair just to show that she had a strong sex drive for someone.  Now MMF threesome or FMF combination is a large part of my fantasy life.  I guess that's pretty typical for a guy.  I'd like to know that she's hungry enough for it to invite a third, but it's more a sign of desire than the act of watching her fuck another man. Even though that would be incredibly hot as well.

Bonus: Fill in the blanks.
I like it ___smooth___ on the outside and ___tight___ in the middle.
I like it ___warm___ on the outside and ___snuggly___ in the middle.
I like it ___naked___ on the outside and ___wet___ in the middle.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

a nice monday...

not much happening so I haven't been posting much. 

I taught my cycle class this morning and had a very very small crowd due to it being "President's Day" here in the US.

I soaked in the jacuzzi and chatted with a friend (hooray for almost water-proof phones)

I did home work with daughters 1 and 2.  The house is quiet now so i think I'll work on my resume a bit, or perhaps browse and catch up on blogs I've neglected. 

To my two sleepy friends, I hope you sleep deeply and dream of better days to come.

The long weekend has been good, quiet, full of good food, long runs, a canyon trail, and family time.

Tomorrow it will be time to get back on the job hunt, making calls, tracking names, and seeing what's out there, and yes, of course, trying to find more time on-line. 

So, to all my friends, the near and the far, the writers, the lurkers, those who are here, and those who have left, have a wonderful week!!!

FFFolded

She was beautiful as she lay back, inviting him, pleading with him, "Make me yours..."

He saw her flesh, wet, pink, the culmination of months of flirting, countless chats, exchanged pictures, then her beautiful voice on skype, the phone, stolen hours at work, and now, she was about to be his.

"Please" she pleaded.

His tears fell, he raged inside, willing himself hard, but it was no use, the pills had worn off, he had folded his tent and gone home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He loved this moment, lived for it really, as the light from the changed from a roaring presumptuous dancing yellow, to the subdued ember oranges that gave her body just the right hue.

She looked up at him and smiled, she made him so much more than he was on his own.  Her fingers danced on her skin and then rested on her ribs as she positioned herself.  "I love you" he whispered as her body folder around his.  "I love you to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the standard warnings he always ignored, but it was her birthday, so.......
First came the mutilation, the shear pain of it made her cum twice, the surprise that he did it, twice more.
The spindle was next, long, dark, and hard.  She never failed to be amazed at what he could do with it.
Then....he put her in positions she only dared try in Pilattess with a coach and a paramedic, and he fucked her in every one.  As he folded her in to one more position, she new she would always be his.

TMI - Valentines Style

Start here, and then come back

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or think it’s a consumer-oriented, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance, just have yourself some fun by answering these TMI Tuesday questions.

1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. As the myth goes, a person who is shot by Cupid’s arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. On your behalf, who would you like Cupid to shoot?

There are a couple of bloggers that could use an arrow in their cute little butts, but in real life it would be my boot camp instructor, or the new girl at the front desk, she looks like a lot of fun.  And my wife could use a booster shot.  

2. Earlier in the evening you had dinner at the Fook Yue Chinese Restaurant. You are feeling quite amorous. You open a fortune cookie in the bedroom. Three fortunes appear:

1- “Your patience will be rewarded.”  What would you like that reward to be?

A weekend away, more enthusiastic oral sex, a few weekday mornings when the kids magically vanish and appear at school on time, with homework done, leaving us along in bed.

2- “Try something new.”  What is the something new you want to try?
I bought her a cute little mask, and she already owns a few silk scarves, I want to try some light bondage, just to play, to change things up, but I really think she's got a mental block there....

3- ” ’tis better to give than receive.”  What would you like to give?

Orgasm #2-5.  She stops after one, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are more just waiting to come out.  She holds back because "enough is enough" and  "too much is, well, too much."

3. If you were to write a special Valentine message (e.g., card, letter, etc.) what is that message?

 On this special day, I look at you across the room and am amazed at the wonderful and mother you are.  You bring so much love and attention to our family that I realize very day, just how lucky I am to have you, and how lucky I am that you never looked at that link in the upper corner, or that I've never been caught, or that you've never really looked at our phone bill.  Happy Valentine's Day.

4. Are you doing something special for Valentine’s day or is it just another day?

Because my daughter's teachers have no consideration for VD when scheduling tests, it will be a special dinner at home (the kids always decorate for us), and then date night this weekend.  And yes, I've already got her gift and 2 cards (one funny, one sexy)

5. You must give chocolate to your secret Valentine for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate is in the shape of your what?  Brain.  We've been watching a lot of zombie movies lately.

Bonus:
You can make your own valentine heart candy. What is your message? (Go to this link. Create your candy. Post the generated Valentine candy on your blog).