TMI Tuesday - June 28 - Maybe a new thing, maybe not

I haven't done TMI Tuesday in forever, but my friend Lexi does so I think I'll start again, or maybe not, but, for now, here's one.

Tell us 10 things that scare you.	1.      That God is real 2.      That God is not real (both options are terrifying) 3.      Losing one of my children 4.      Losing my mind (Alzheimer’s) 5.      Injury that limits sports/exercise 6.      The loss of American discourse/compromise 7.      Tyrannical govt from any party 8.      An actual pandemic 9.      Market Crash that wipes out my life’s saving 10.   USC wins the Pac-12
When it comes to sex, which of the following do you and your partner disagree about more: Where to have sex, When to have sex How often to have sex?	Easy one, but the last two are really the same thing.  Where?  It’s 90% in the bed, door locked.  The other 5% is her getting me off in the shower then I return the favor in bed.  The last 5% would include twice per summer outside, and then the occasional hotel room if we are travelling with no kids, or all the kids, and get a separate room.  The couch used to see more action, but not lately.  ☹ If “When” means before or after Church or what time to turn off the TV, then we almost never argue, but if “When” means this month or next, then that’s a bigger issue.  Frequency is the biggest disjoin, though we rarely argue over it.  It’s part of the underlying dynamic and tension that pervades our relationship.  I LOVE her body, sex, orgasms, watching/helping/making her cum, I love the snuggles leading up to it and the laughter and clean-up afterwards.  I could do it 3-4 times a week, but twice a month seems just fine with her.  Our biggest argument is that our sexual menu is narrowing.  She’s never liked butt stuff, she used to finger herself while we fucked but now only uses a vibrator (which I love), she used to cum like crazy from me eating her out, but that’s now pretty much off the list (and I miss it soo much), and she is settling into a set routine that is fun and orgasmic (we can together on Sunday morning), it’s a little predictable.  Any yes, I really really really miss going down on her.  ☹
Worse thing to do as a couple? Dieting Picking a movie Building something from Ikea	OH, by far, by a mile, by an eternity, it has to be dieting. Picking a movie – Cake Ikea – She reads in the instructions, I build, we are done in moment flat. Dieting? Torture, murder, conflict, rage, resentment, rolled-eyes, different goals, mismatched approaches, 50 pound difference, and it goes on and own. I work out to lose weight, she cuts calories.  She likes broccoli, cauliflower, eggplant, and other noxious weeds, while I like food.  If I have chocolate, she rolls her eyes, when I invite her to a run, she declines, when she cooks spinach, I smile, pass, then have a PB&J later.  We are so mismatched.  NO NO NO NO.   I will support her, I hide my chocolate, I modify my menus when I cook, I will shop for just what she wants, but no, we don’t diet together.  Maybe that’s why neither one of us hits our targets, but at least we are still married.
What is the most organic thing in your home right now?	My son’s very expensive hair conditioner The lettuce my sister-in-law grew in the backyard My wife’s loofa?  Maybe?
Tell us the best thing you bought to enhance your life for under $30 (usd)	I bought a large boiling pot that has the nesting pot with the drains in the bottom and it’s awesome, $29 @ Marshall’s. I got three new silicone serving utensils, spoon, scraper, spatula (perfect size for my smaller cast iron skillet) - $6 A tube of KY jelly - $8 New earbuds for running $29 @ Best Buy Dark Chocolate Peanut M&Ms - $4

FFF - Babes in Blue

Word Limit: 220-240

Key Words: authority, blue

Forbidden Words: law, order

#1 - Boobs in Blue

You know, I could get fired for this

You hate your job, so who cares?

Who cares? I care, I like paying for food an TV and, I dunno, clothes.

Just quit?

Really?  And how are we going to make any money?

I could be a cam-girl.

No

I could be an escort

Hell No

Why not?  We swing.

I know, but that’s different.

Why?

It’s for fun, not money.

So, I can be a slut, but not a hooker?  Can we talk about this later?

Why not now?

‘Cause I’m almost naked

And?

Wet?

And

Horny as fuck, now, take the picture.

Spread wider.

By whose authority?

Mine, your partner, your lover, your boss.

Boss, eh? We’ll see about that.

I’m sure we will. Now spread

How wide?

I want your lips to open

With my fingers?

No fingers, just spread

But then I’d be showing…

Everything?

Yes, everything.

That’s what I want to see

But we agreed these would be tasteful.

Well, our goals are shifting.

To Where?

I’m not sure yet.  Unbutton your shirt and tip back the hat.

Then they’ll see my face.

I know, you’ll be famous, the sexiest cop in town. “Boobs in Blue”

Now what?

Just a few more.

Can you see it?

What?

I’m dripping.

Good

Drooling, really.

Wonderful

So, about my new job idea?

OK, you win.  You can do it for money, but I get to watch.

Of course, Officer.

(240)

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#2 - Parking Garage

It was her turn to take our uniforms to the cleaners.  Ever since we became partners on the beat we took turns, my guy, her guy.  Drop off was Monday after roll call, pickup was Thursday after safety briefings or neighborhood watch meetings.  It was nice to have a schedule.

After the Canyon Heights Watch meeting, I looked around be Rachel wasn’t there.  Sometimes she ducked out to get us a soda at the bodega around the corner, but she was always back before I finished shaking hands and answering questions about “those dang kids.”

With Rachel no where to be found, I walked toward our patrol car, content to wait out her flirting with some single dad from the meeting or a trip to the bathroom.

I turned the corner to our secluded, and safe, parking spot and there she was.  She smiled at me.

I was stunned.  “What the fuck, Rachel, who are you meeting?”

She made eye contact.  “You.”

“We can’t.”

She spread her legs and beautiful pink lips unfolded to my view.

“We can,” she unbuttoned her service-blue shirt, “and we will.”

Not one to buck authority, I dropped to my knees and kissed her.  Her mouth was warm and inviting, so I straightened up and filled it with my cock. She swallowed every drop, licked her lips, and looked up.

“OK officer”, she shifted wider, “Let’s see if you know how to handle a nightstick.”

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I hope you liked them.  They are certainly fun to write.  Now, go look for something blue that isn't balls, and see who else joined in!!

On the Beat

• Exploits of Lexi: Me (lex-ploits.blogspot.com)
• Thoughts from a Mystic Satyr (mystic-satyr.blogspot.com)
• Fighting Sanity (freedominchains42.blogspot.com)
• Same Sassy Girl

Past is Prologue

I made a fatal mistake this week, I got busy and paid attention to my job.  Aaaah crap.  Ran out of time.

Having family in town was great, but also distracted me from my FFF duties, but, the REAL CRIME

was that I accidentally saw Max's title when I pulled up the picture and since I hate duplication, even without reading his post, I have to change directions.  But damn, his title is perfect.

And yes, I cheated 125 words in chapter 1, and 285 in chapter 2.  :-)  Sue me.

OK, i have about 10 min, let's see what damage we can do.

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Word Limit: 120-125 *or* 280-285

Key Words: fashion, funny

Forbidden Words: hairspray

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So, what was so great about being in the Navy?

Nothin! – He threw his empty beer can at me. – Get me another

Really?  Nothing good came out of 8 long years?

NO – Now get me a cold one.

I laughed, he didn’t.

But you met mom while you were in the navy, then you had me.

Like I said.

Dejected, I debated my plan, I had to know.

I pulled out the picture.

Which one was she?

I don’t know, I fucked them both.  And why does it matter now?  She’s gone, you’re leaving, I’m dying.  Let it go.

But how can you not know? 

The attorney called, showed me the tests, forced me to sign the papers.  That was it, I was a father. (125)

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Tell me about them.

He sighs.

Fleet week was a nightmare, a curse, a horror show, and heaven all rolled into one.

We were young, flush with cash, horny as hell, and 90% drunk most of the time.

The girls saw us coming a mile away, they prepped, preened, smelled nice, danced close, and made us fall in love, with several at a time.

These two worked something out.  I bought them drinks all night, blew my paycheck twice over, missed the last bus to the base, so I stayed at their place.

The one with big hair liked it dirty.  She begged for it, so I put it in her ass.  Then she fell asleep.

The other one showered me off, took me in her mouth, and smiled at me the whole time.  Afterwards  she held my hand, took me to bed, and asked me to make love to her. I should have worn a rubber, but she asked me not to, so I didn’t.

Thanks for telling me dad.  It means a lot.

Why?  It’s all in the past.

The past is prologue.

Oh, shut up with that fancy college talk.

I laughed, he found it funny this time.

I changed his oxygen bottle and tapped on his IV line out of habit.  He was fine, but not for long.

I sat next to his bed. I wouldn’t happen tonight, but it wouldn’t be long either.

I’ve met a girl, Dad.

Wear a rubber.

He didn’t laugh this time.

I showed him the new picture.

How?  He asked. Except for the hair and fashion, they were twins with matching smiles.

Fate is a funny thing.

Well, at least you got the nice one. (285) 

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Now, see who did the homework on time and didn't cheat.

Usual Suspects

Exploits of Lexi: Me (lex-ploits.blogspot.com)

Thoughts from a Mystic Satyr (mystic-satyr.blogspot.com)

Fighting Sanity (freedominchains42.blogspot.com)

Same Sassy Girl

Satiated

 Word Limit: 180-190

Key Words: juicy, judge

Forbidden Words: barefoot, bursting

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Who am I to judge?

Times were tough.  The supply chain crisis of ’22 spiraled out of control until everything fell apart.  First baby formula, then meat, then even the vegans started complaining.  Monoculture sucked the nutrients out of nation’s breadbasket and every crop got worse, smaller, more rancid, prone to disease, mold, and rot, just like D.C, Sacramento, and the rest of the big cities. 

The “Small Wall Rebellion” sealed our fate, or so we thought, until the Bezos/Gates/Trump consortium ousted what little was left of the government and the BIG walls went up. Everyone got their market share, and we got whatever they decided to give us. The socialists were the first to celebrate and the first to regret it.  They didn’t have anything to sell, barter, or give away.  The liberals had never charged for “free love” and now that it was free for everyone, their one marketable commodity liquidated.  Hell, with mandatory sterilization and hormone blockers in the water, it was free, but nobody cared.

Then I found her little homestead. Bright, red, juicy, sweet, & good enough to eat, and worth every cryptocoin I had. (190)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

OK, this wasn't very sexy, but I liked what the image said to me, so I ran with it.  Maybe the next one will tingle what dingles for you.

wwwwwwwww

 Not much sexier, but it made me laugh

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No shit? Really?

I burst out laughing.

She smiled in that judge-y way when you try to be nice but the 1-millionth telling of the same joke gets on your last nerve.

Would it help if I told you the Farmer was dead and that the daughter is now in charge?

Well, it would make me feel guilty, and a little sad, so no.

Good, but I will tell you that he’s two fields over, deaf as a stone, and on the slowest tractor ever built.

Which means?

We have time.

Time for what?  Negotiations?

Yes, that is why I left my panties in my truck, so I could “negotiate.”

Uhm, what?

Are you kidding me?  Are you A54?

Yes

The one that’s been flirting with me for 6 months while these watermelons went from seed to truck.

Yes

Then what’s up with all the chit chat?

Uhhh, I thought we were just flirting.

Rrrgh, why are men so slow.  When a woman offers to sell you ripe melons but demands you pick them up in person, she AINT TALKING PRODUCE !

OK, but first, am I getting a discount?

Aaaaaaaaaghhhhh!!! (190)

_____________________________________________________

 Time?

Judging by the sun, almost 3:00

Fuck, it’s hot

No shit, and don’t swear.

Why not, you did?

I did not, I, I, … oh, sorry.

Her laugh scared away the crows looking for a bite.

When’s the loading crew coming?

Not until 5:00.  They are still working the north fields.

Why are we always last?

Are you complaining?

No

And why aren’t you complaining?

Because I like waiting with you.

Me too.

The sun beat down on us as our lips met. 

Her dress stuck to her sweaty skin but she giggled and wiggled and laid it down gently on top of the ripe fruit.

There are so many jokes in my head right now.

Don’t say a thing or I’ll tell a sliced banana joke.

I winced from the image and the rock I laid on as I settle next to her.

Cut me a slice

Her knife was quick, her aim true, and she fed me a juicy slice of fruit.

How does that taste?

Like heaven.

Eat more

I did

She smiled and laughed, naked next to the emptied fields.

Now, how about some watermelon? (190)

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A good picture inspires a lot of ideas, and Max knocked it out of the part this week.

Now, go take a minute, write a ditty of your own, send around the link, and join the fun!!!

Usual Suspects

Exploits of Lexi: Me (lex-ploits.blogspot.com)

Thoughts from a Mystic Satyr (mystic-satyr.blogspot.com)

Fighting Sanity (freedominchains42.blogspot.com)

Same Sassy Girl

A close Shave

Another great picture from Max over at Thoughts from a Mystic Satyr (mystic-satyr.blogspot.com)

Go follow him, then join the fun every Friday!!!

Word Limit: 100-110 *or* 300-310

Key Words: smooth, smart

Forbidden Words: bush, bare

Are you sure you want to film this?

More than ever.  I trust you.

Why?

Because this is obviously your house.

So?

So, if the pictures get out, then we both go down in flames.

So, a MAD strategy?

MAD?

Mutually Assured Destruction

Geez, how old are you?

Smart enough to know better

That makes two of us.

So how about we put the camera down, why risk it?

Because I need to know this really happened

What do you mean?

Right now, it feels like a dream, a dream that should never end

Then hit record, and let’s get going.

Make it smooth, make it yours

As you wish. (110)

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Again, I might come back to add another version, but for now, this captures a memory perfectly, and if it's a memory of something that never happened, it still makes me smile.

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OK, I found time for one more.  Enjoy!!
________________________________________

I need to be perfectly smooth.

Why?

Because I want tonight to be special

Every night with you is special.

(She laughs) You flatter me

That’s my job, isn’t it?  To help you feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.

Thank you

(They kiss)

But tonight, she’s going to be in the room with us.

Are you still ok with that?

Yes, but I am nervous.

Why? 

Well, let’s think, she’s younger than me, skinnier than me, way smarter, and well, she’s a she.  It’s a lot to deal with.

Listen, I can cancel with a single phone call.

No! (She smiles) I don’t want to cancel, you said be honest, so I’m sharing how I feel.

That’s what makes you so wonderful, brave, daring, honest, and absolutely beautiful.

There you go again.  Now, get back to work.

Are we taking it all off?

Every last hair.

Why?

Because I don’t anything between my skin and her tongue.

Go on.

I want to feel everything, I want to taste everything, and I want her to do the same.

Keep Going

This is my first time, our first time, I want every sense on fire with anticipation.

What’s my role in all this?

Encouragement, light touches, a bit of direction, a hint when things slow down, and lots of snacks.  And water!

What’s going to happen first?

Talking, laughing, lots of kissing, and a few pictures.

And then

The clothes go off, and we get it on.

Cute.  Then?

Then? Oh, everything, fingers, tongues, toys, everything! Is anything off limits?

Not a thing. Anything off limits for me?

No, but I do have one request.

And what is that my love?

Can I be blunt?

Please

I want you to get her pregnant.

Really?

Yes

And why is that?

I’ve always wanted to be an aunt.

Sounds wonderful.

Yes

‐-------------

See Who Played Today

Max

Lexi

Sassy (I hope)