This was dictated on my phone, transcribed by poorly
programmed voice recognition software, then very lightly edited, just enough, I
hope, to get across the story. And yes, I finished when the story did. (some additional editing on 2/20/26).
Phone rings.
We need to talk about the tickets.
What are you doing right now?
Uh do you want the truthful answer or the politically
correct answer.
Give me the truthful answer.
Well I'm laying on a blanket in my backyard naked thinking
about masturbating.
Holy shit don't say that,.
Well you said you wanted the honest answer.
Ohh not that honest.
OK, so you want the politically correct answer?
Yeah, let's back up and try this again. Hi what are you
doing? We need to talk about the tickets.
Well, you can come over. I am currently in the backyard
thinking about some of my friends and hoping that they are satisfied with their
daily life.
Now, that is a bullshit answer.
Well it’s the the politically correct version and that means
it's usually bullshit.
That's not what I meant.
What you meant was that you really wanted to know what I was
doing but you didn’t want to admit that you wanted to know exactly, what I was
doing.
Don't put it that way.
Admit it, you're still curious you had your chance and now
you think you blew it.
.
Well, did I?
I'm not sure yet, all I know, is that right now I’m alone in
the backyard, no one can see me, no one knows how I'm doing. I have a tube of
lube and a vibrator next to me.
That's what I mean! You can't say that stuff anymore.
Why not? You used to like hearing it all the time.
I know, but I thought we were being good.
OH, fuck being good. That didn't get me anywhere now did it?
That's not my fault. I just I just couldn't go through with
it.
That's fine, just don't tell me you didn't want to.
That's not fair, you know I wanted to, you know I really
wanted to do it, but.
But what? Tony banging your best friend when we were on the
phone so I don't think it mattered too much. She's not my best friend anymore.
Good, neither is he. Just tell me the last time you thought
about me.
Please don't make me tell you that.
Why not? That recently?
You know what it does to me when we start talking, you know
how I get wet.
I know.
Stop it.
I think you're getting wet right now.
Stop it or i'll hang up.
Ohh you could have hung up minutes ago when I called you, you
like texting because it doesn't go anywhere but once you hear my voice you know
I'm gonna ask you questions.
Then stop asking me questions.
I like hearing you answer them.
Come on, that’s just not fair. You know what you do to me.
I know what I want to do to you.
See it’s stuff like that. We’re not supposed to talk about
that stuff with each other.
Why not?
Well, I'm your boss.
You're not my boss.
I paid for your last project.
Correction, you reimbursed me for my last project, all my
labor was free along with my expertise a couple of gallons of paint and several
dozen brushes if I remember.
OK fine, that might be true, but what about next day? What about
when we see each other next?
What's the problem?
You'll know things about me.
Like what?
Ohh come off it. You know. You ask questions and I tell you
answers and you know I can't lie to you.
There's no value in lying in this situation I'm not building
a fantasy; I’m building a record.
That's what I mean. You ask me these questions, and I have
to tell you the truth otherwise it doesn't work, does it?
You're right, it only works when you answer truthfully. I
can tell a fantasy answer when i hear it, just like a fake orgasm or porn. It's
beautiful, but it's a lie so it doesn't mean as much. Why do you think you like
telling me the truth?
I don't know, maybe because no one else asks me those kinds
of questions.
Well? Should we start with some answers right now?
What?
You know what my first three questions are. They are always
the same and I expect you to answer them 100% honestly.
Seriously? I have to go to rehearsal in like 2 hours.
That’s not the point.
Yeah, it is, because when you get to rehearsal I want you to
know that tingling you feel is because of me.
It's always because of you.
Then let's get started, give me the basic 3 now.
Fuck you.
Not yet, answers please.
OK, let me think.
You shouldn't have to think that hard, but you know the
rule, no looking.
It's just that sometimes they're just not that exciting.
If they're on you, then they're absolutely thrilling.
OK, pale blue, high cut, probably Fruit of the Loom and a
little bit worn out.
Good girl.
You can’t call me that for just answering the simplest of
questions.
I can because that's what you are.
What do you mean?
You are my good girl. You answer my questions, you tell me
the truth, you let me inside and that makes all the difference.
Inside? What do you mean? We've never, you know, never done,
you know, that.
That's the least important place I need to be right now.
What do you mean?
You'll let me in there when you're ready to let me in there.
Where I wanna be is inside, deep inside your head. I want to be inside your
panties when I'm 100 miles away. I want to be in the shower with you while I'm
sitting next to my family at dinner, and I want to be in your bed when you
bring somebody home from the theater.
Fuck you.
That's why you're my good girl.
Thank you Sir. Do you have another question for me?
Yes. When was your last orgasm?
What it's none of your business.
Tell me tell me now.
OK, today's Friday, so it was Tuesday. I just got back from
a run. I was so tired.
How far did you go?
6 miles. I did the big loop around the train station, it's
flat and it's fast.
Kind of like you.
Cut that out.
You know I think you're beautiful I'm just teasing you.
You know I wish my boobs were bigger,.
No you don't. They're perfect just the way they are, just
the way you are.
What do you mean by that?
They are small, sensitive, and they fit inside my mouth, and
I can suck on them so hard.
May I touch them Sir? Please?
Be specific.
May I touch my breasts Sir?
Yes, you may, but only over your shirt.
What?
Just for now. Imagine we're in the movie theater. I can't
get you naked yet, but I can touch you, feel your nipples getting hard.
Ohh Sir, they are so hard right now.
Pinch one, the left and then the right.
Please Sir.
I time my touch with the action on the screen so you can
yell out as the cars explode and the men fight for some stupid reason. We
picked this one because the reviewers said it was unnecessarily loud for an
hour and a half and that's what I want you to be, loud.
May I?
May I what?
May I take my shirt off please?
Yes you may tell me how it feels.
It’s light blue T-shirt that's one of my oldest. It's and
it's soft and I like how it feels against my skin.
You may take it off if you tell me what happened next after
your run.
Yes Sir. I had the house to myself, so I stripped down as
soon as I walked inside the front door. My shoes first then my socks. My T-shirt
came off and then my running bra. I'm still not sure why I wear one, but I like
it.
Chafing is a bitch.
Come on Sir, you know I don't like that word.
I'm sorry my sweet, Chafing is unpleasant.
I took off my shirt and my bra I saw myself in the hallway
mirror.
Go on.
The one my grandma likes so much that she bought it at the
flea market last year after grandpa died.
Yes, I know that mirror. What did you see?
I saw my red hair, the small curves of my breasts. I saw
sweat running down between and I watched myself touch my nipples.
And? And what? Tell me.
It made me wet, so I reached down and I pulled my pants down
and my panties along with it until I was bare. I stepped out of my running
tights I stood naked in front of the mirror.
Yes continue.
Sir? May I?
What?
May I touch myself?
Be specific.
May I put my hands down my pants and touch my clit?
Yes, you may, but you cannot stop talking.
Thank you Sir. It feels good.
What feels good?
I like touching myself when I talk to you.
Tell me more. What did you see in the mirror?
Well I had just shaved that morning I was still a little red
but my skin was bare I could see my lips, so I used my fingers and I spread
myself open and then put one finger deep inside myself and that's all it took
to cum. Sir, just thinking of you and one finger was all it took.
You came from me in the hallway?
Yes, just you, a long run, and one finger, Sir.
Good girl, very good girl.
